Entry #1: 9/4/22
She is sitting across the table from me as she continues to stare with her judgy eyes. Although she is older and starting to ripen, she hasn’t lost her sense of judgement. She is getting softer and she feels a little bit squishy. She is covered in bruises and scars from her long adventure to school last Thursday. Bouncing around in a backpack all day is not very comfortable! She is starting to turn a dark yellow/ light brown color like a lightly toasted marshmallow. She enjoys resting on the counter next to the family of apples. She is excited to have some new friends that are not textbooks.
Entry #2: 9/6/22
When I got home from school today, I immediately ran to the kitchen to grab a snack. I reached for the pear and brought her to the sink for a rinse. As the water drips down her body, she is bubbling with excitement. She is smiling back up to me as her bath comes to an end. Today she is perfectly ripe and ready to be eaten. Although this means our journey together is coming to an end, she is ecstatic to be used for her primary purpose, eating. I placed her on a cutting board and reached for a knife. She is ready. As I cut her into slices, her pieces perfectly fall down besides her. After she is all cut up, I began to eat her. She was soft, juicy, and delicious. Even though our time together was short, I enjoyed writing about my organic friend.
I think the way you personified the fruit was very interesting. Describing the fruit as a person allowed you to be more descriptive than if you just let it remain a fruit. I also liked how you ate the fruit at the end while most people decided to discard it.
Thank you for your comment, Logan!
The use of personification to describe your fruit was a nice touch. You are looking at your fruit by not looking at it like a fruit. It’s a nice way to expand your descriptions and observations by looking at it in a “human” way. It reminds me of the way I wrote my journal entries too. I also like with the second entry that it was made into a glorious ending for your pear.
Thank you for your comment, Amanda!
I really like how descriptive you were in entry #1. I think when you added the personification it made it more fun to read! It seemed like you enjoyed writing about your pear and eating it.
Thank you for your comment, Hanna!
The way you describe the pear as if it were a person made it interesting. Where you said that she is “covered in bruises and scars from her long adventure” it reminded me of a person and their adventures. Just like your pear everyone has their own little bruises and scars that continue to show up as life goes on.
Thank you for your comment, Lesly!
I admired how you treated your pear like a human being. I love how you personified your fruits in your well-written descriptions. I really enjoy how your second excerpt ends with you eating your pear. Great job, Allison !!!
Thank you for your comment, Caitlin!
Your mix of imagination and description is so engaging. I enjoyed this line particularly: “She is starting to turn a dark yellow/ light brown color like a lightly toasted marshmallow.” The choice of simile keeps the tone light and suggests the pear’s final fate in the next entry.
Thank you for your comment, Mr. Stephens!