Cafeteria Trash Can #1
IT’S MOLDY! EW! BERRY IS MOLDY! This is devastating, I knew it would happen but I thought I’d have more time. I was looking forward to eating it, I love red peppers. Berry is covered in circular spots of mold. I think I’m gonna throw him away, right now… I did it. Berry is wasting away in Cafeteria Trash Can #1. I’ll be honest, I’m not as sad as I thought I’d be. I usually get attached to inanimate objects quite easily, but I had no problem throwing Berry away. The tip of Berry was way darker, going from a bright firetruck red to a deep burgundy. The mold was white, green, and fuzzy; I squished it on accident which was incredibly disgusting. I was too afraid to open the bag Barry lived in, but I have a feeling that he smelled bad. Poor Berry, that’s an unfortunate demise. Being tossed into a high school cafeterias trash can instead of being turned into a delicious snack is a little upsetting. RIP Berry, 8/31/2022-9/6/22
I like your use of diction. It is consistent with the theme and design of your blog. The all caps at the start is an immediate hook and sets a “journal entry” tone.
I really enjoyed how the hook drew the readers in. The dramatic embellishments were insightful and I really enjoyed reading this! It was a very interesting route to take this story.
It was such a change of emotion from the first journal entry to the last one! I really liked how you kept the journal entry creative by comparing the pepper to a narwhal. I also like how it felt like I was reading a Dork Diaries book by the way you write and the font, it felt nostalgic in a way.
First, I like this theme and font a lot. I’m not familiar with it. I really like this combination of description and reaction: “The tip of Berry was way darker, going from a bright firetruck red to a deep burgundy. The mold was white, green, and fuzzy; I squished it on accident which was incredibly disgusting.” The post’s title is wonderfully specific. “#1” — suitable for a grave marker, perhaps . . .