1) Did you always assume that success came right from innate talent or ability? Discuss people you know who are brilliant or talented but never went anywhere. And people who are not so brilliant or talented, but are highly successful. How did they do it?

I think I’ve always thought that success came from a combination of talent and ability. At dance growing up, I could tell that the best dancers were the ones who worked the hardest and spent a lot of time at the studio. A girl my age named Cameron at my studio comes to mind when I think of a hard worker. She wasn’t always the best dancer, and she certainly wasn’t blessed from birth with qualities that many dancers desire or envy, like extreme flexibility/body facility, nice lines/body type, or beautiful foot point. But Cameron rapidly became one of the best dancers at the studio because she was singularly focused on and determined to become the absolute best dancer she can be. There was hardly a moment where she wasn’t doing something productive at the studio; she was always stretching, conditioning, or practicing dances. She became a leader among her peers, and self-advocated and very responsible.

2) Was there a difficult transition in your life where you fell into a fixed mindset and lost confidence in your abilities? Describe it.

During junior year, I overloaded my course schedule and consequently became depressed and extremely anxious. My emotions were all over the place constantly, and I struggled to see my own value. I was struggling with my loss of passion for dance, or more specifically, my loss of desire to remain at my studio. I felt totally unhinged and lost the entire year. My grades were a constant battle, as I had no motivation to do my homework and I struggled with the content in several of my classes. I got discouraged by my bad grades, beat myself up, tried to do my work, failed, beat myself up for not being able to do my work, then I got upset when I received the grades I deserved. I was aware that I was feeding a cycle of self-hate and failure, but I was so depressed I couldn’t see a way out, nor the point of one. I was just exhausted. I lost sight of myself.

3) Look at the before and after drawings on page 69. What do they tell you about talent?

Talent cannot be judged at the beginning of a new endeavor. In fact, talent has little to do with one’s capacity to produce quality results. It has to do with the willingness to look at things in different ways. You have to be willing to persevere and work towards getting better, which also means accepting the possibility of failure or embarrassment.

4) Have you ever trusted someone’s negative evaluation of your ability or talent? Think about it now. How could they judge your potential?

Yes, I probably have. There was a group of girls at dance who for years bullied and excluded me and made me feel like a freak. They couldn’t judge my potential because they didn’t know me. Although, there was probably an element of jealousy going on. I had 2 friends for years. I had intermittent friends who always inevitably left me. For years, my self-esteem deteriorated and I only found my value in other’s opinions. I was hyper aware of how others perceived me, and I developed social anxiety. Honestly, these problems persisted all the way up to the time I stopped dancing. I never felt accepted for who I truly am in that environment, and I was always evaluated based on my ability to perform. I still love to dance, but I had to leave Bleu for my sanity. It was something akin to heartbreak.