FIFTH GRADE PART IV, RECESS

“I hate middle school!” Says a random person. “Why? I ask. “Because there is no recess!” They would respond. Honestly, the random person is everyone in the 6th grade! I wish I could say that though, my version of recess sucked! My recess is what I am posting for today’s SOL. (Please don’t comment: OMG RECESS WAS AMAZING LIKE OMG OMG I WILL HATE YOU NOW OMG OMG) But this is my recess: “Okay children, time to go to an Aperture Science simulation field- I mean recess!” Said the teacher. “Yay! Time to go to an empty field!” Yelled the students in excitement.

We all walked IN SINGLE FILE LINES! Like if walking one by the other is important. We opened the door and ran, wasting our energy while we sprinted, all the way to the Pl4y gr0UnD. Once we got there, girls were talking about lipstick and that fingernail paint stuff I don’t know the name of, and the boys were playing Sp0RTz on the f13Ld. And I was following my own path, being lonely.

It was something you had to get used to. (But then you make a blog and you get 5 comments in a day ONE DAY) I usually joined games of mulch tag by the end of the year. But what about the first 140 days? I was just walking around! But when you finish up the day you play video games because there is no downside to video games!

THE FARTHEST PLACE I EVER WENT FOR VACATION

After I stumbled out of a wobbly, unsafe, and scary ride in a metal tube, I walked into an airport in Colorado. I AM ALIVE I thought over and over in my head. I just surpassed 3 hours of American-Tubelines. We still have to complete the one and a half hour ride in another plane to Wyoming. But for now, we get to sleep in the airport hotel.

I woke up at about 10:00 or 11:00 because the 2 hour time difference. I looked out the window to see the city near Denmark. Nobody was awake at the time so I got on my IPad so I could play some of the old Plants Vs Zombies. (UGH, the severe levels where so hard) Eventually when everybody woke up, we went back to the Colorado Airport of doom.

Later, we got onto our flight. It was an old abandoned plane that probably fit 3 families. I got on next to dad. (I hate planes, especially ones that could crash in the first 10 minutes of the flight. I waited (In fear) for the plane to run down the runway and fly into certain death. 98379873297439274923874 minutes later, we were
gaining speed. Getting closer towards death. And before you know it… We were in the air.

Afterwards, I realized the mountains made it look like we were practically on the ground. I even managed to play some PVZ (Plants Vs Zombies) and the only reason I stopped was because the level was so hard. But we still made it to Wyoming. And I am going to leave it there. So I will make this a series of this until I go home. But remember, there is no downside to video games!

BACK AT IT AGAIN

5th Grade Part III The Party of Doom is the new hit blog post. Yup, again I didn’t have plans for the day, so today is Part III. This is pretty much the end of the year but not the end of the series. this series will go on until I lose memory of 5th grade. This is how old I will be:

But today I will be doing the end of the year party. I know what you are thinking, OMG HE HAD AN END OF THE YEAR PARTY OMG LIKE OMG 4 LIFE!!! I was happy too, I got to leave school for the 2nd last time! Then came 6th grade which was not even more than TWICE as easy! I could not spend a DAY without being made fun of for reasons I do not remember. (OMG I AM GOING TO DIE SOON) And now it was going to be over.

But the party was pretty good though, they spent TRUCKLOADS of money on it! (That explains why the kindergarten through 4th grade parties were boring) But there was the mighty Game Truck there, and that means… There is no downside to video games!

DAY 8

Help, I can post on Mondays-Thursdays but on Fridays and weekends? Not like I am supposed to play Terraria 24/7 (Or do other homework) with Derpus but how are you supposed to fit a blog that looks like a 52849375894375824397598475984379437859487594749574957495749 page essay (I mean a long post) In one small day?

I can do it but it is super time consuming, I mean I can type like nyan cat but pictures are different on every device. So if you are posting on your ipad you will have to take a picture of your canva thing that you put on your computer, and I can’t figure out screenshots.

I find it confusing and weird! As you can tell, I am not a tech person. But if it is not confusing, there is no downside to video games!

LOSING LIFE

Isn’t it a pain in the butt to get Fortnite taken away for a dumb reason? Well for my family you can lose anything for, anything! Like forgetting to do your homework that is due in 10 weeks!

 

And that is a HUGE thing towards me since

Most of my homework is on a device
It happens almost every day

That is why the SOL challenge (Slice of Life, not the Standards of Learning) Is even a challenge for me, those every day of march I am riding my bike (usually fun but not in winter) around the globe a few times. I still get it done but it is just harder than expected!

 

But, how do you lose it? Simple! I put a pencil on the ground. Think I am lying? Well… What proof do I have, there is also other ways like my brother sister loses it so I lose it too for some reason. But here is an example.

 

So if you have them, there is no downside to video games!

TORNADOS + 5TH GRADE = DISASTER

For the challenge I usually pick out ideas the day before. But today, that did not happen. So today I decided to make a part 2 to my 5th grade life. I am thinking that every so often we will write about my fifth grade life. So here is part 2/4352398745983759423875: BAM! CRASH! “I like turtles.” Woke me up this morning. Or, was it morning? It looked as dark as the grim reapers over cooked krabby patty.

 

 

All my life I have been afraid of tornadoes, almost as much as I was afraid I would eat a rotten McDonalds meal. And it was WELL over the quota for a tornado to poke out of the sky to say England is my city.

 

 

So I walked in the rain, thunder, and umbrellas. We went into our school to a fun f1lL3D d4Y of whatever the school had to offer, It was that type of day because we were going on a field trip but Mr. Rain said no and I said I sleep in the bathtub.

 

We were fine until lightning poked out of the sky and said England is my city faster than the tornado will. Speaking of it, this next part is going to be where the obese cumulonimbus barfed out a tornado: We were eating our horrible lunch and the loudspeaker said “Hello, there is a tornado warning in the area so we are going to sing or something for you to make you kindergarteners not cry. I think you guys are happy now yay!” In an increment of time less than -32874193274932741923847398147329742374193271498 years, all the unfortunate children (including me) where running to the hallway to do our head in butt pose that is supposed to save us. The teachers were trying to teach us that tornadoes are not bad, but if they are not bad then why do THEY say supercells are really strong and take lives in science? After years and years, (I was only 10 then, now I am 3892753065084365023497580943658924365436590843659463985743986534625098436982! Let’s say it wasn’t comfortable bieng in the but pose for 3892753065084365023497580943658924365436590843659463985743986534625098436972 years. But afterwards the cumulonimbus split into two different cumulonimbuses (Is that how you say it) and all the action was gone. (Not like I MISS it!!) So even if you are stuck in a freaky storm like that one in fortnite, there is no downside to video games!

 

JUST KEEP SWIMMING IF YOU DON’T HALF TO FOR AN HOUR ON MONDAYS

For most of the SOLs I do, (NOT THE STANDARDS OF LEARNING ONE IN VIRGINIA) it is usually about something in my life that I rant about. So today I will write about getting in the car RIGHT when you get home from VEX to go to swimming. The only reason I got signed up was because I didn’t want to dR0wN. Yup, I am 3892753065084365023497580943658924365436590843659463985743986534625098436982 and my I still can’t leave. There is no need to do super complicated strokes when you are swimming from a great white.

But why do I dislike it so much is once you get home from VEX you can eat a snack, (s0 YOu C4n gE+ A cr4Mp) get in the car, swim, go home, and G0 +Ó b3D. It is only a little less cramped then Derpus’s day. It also is annoying how Derpus’s 3RD GRADE SISTER is HIGHER THAN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It makes me SO ANNOYED! So even if you are cramped in a day like mine, there is no downside to video games!

 

 

THE DAILY ROUTENE

Every day I get home from school and I do this MY ULTIMATE DAILY ROUTINE. I will do this in checklist form just for FUn. So here it is:

I wake up
I get ready for school
I run as fast as I can to the bus
I wait for 589724357493 hours to get on the bus
I get on the bus
I go to school
I go to the gym for h0LDinG Ar34
I wait for 982794732948723947 hours to pass in there for some reason
I leave to go to 1 / 2
1 / 2 block
3 / 4 block
5 / 6 block
7 / 8 block
Leave from school
I go home
I go crazy for 10 minutes
I write a blog post
10 hours later I practice my boring peano
I draw something
I go to bed
I do this list again and again until saturday and sunday

 

So that is my boring routine. But remember, there is no downside to video games!

 

 

180 DAYS OF THE POST OF TORTURE

Welcome to the post of torture, where there is a 74329785269874235697289743 word post about torture. Just kidding! It is only torture to the person who had to live through it. So happy third day of the challenge! Today I will be posting about my fifth grade life! Keep in mind this was EVERY SINGLE DAY OF 2016-2017!! (That was not summer/6th grade/4th grade) So here it is: “HENRY YOU WILL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!” Said my brother, who gets ready at 4 in the morning.

 

 

“Ugh, another day of My disgusting school” I thought, I got ready for school at 6:00 so I could go at 7:00 (I still am that slow getting ready) Afterwards I walked across the block to the 13 year old school. I know, that sounds pretty new but, the ugly red bricks already looked like those brown 1925 bricks. I walked in and heard the chattering of people talking about sports. Why just sports? That is my old school.

Once everyone gets home they play basketball all day, And shoot at indoor hoops at night. I hurried into the classroom and looked at todays plans. First we do a worksheet that has smiley faces and addition on it, then we go to the library AS A CLASS, then we come back to math, (The only class out of math, science, Language arts, and social studies that is in a different classroom) “Hello class!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Said my math teacher. “Today we will review subtraction for the 82345608236584326578034652834658294356092483754750982437580943275th time!” “What will we do tomorrow?” I ask. “We will review subtraction for the 82345608236584326578034652834658294356092483754750982437580943276th time!”

 

 

 

Then after hours of waiting through the whole hour of 10 – 3 we went back to homeroom. We then went straight to PE. (Why did we go to homeroom? I am not the one to ask) We walk IN SINGLE FILE to PE class. “WELCOME TO THE GAME OF ENTERTAINMENT” Said the PE teacher. “We will be playing a fun game “The Pacer Test!” “Ugh!” My classmates moaned. And In that quarter we will be playing SUPER ULTIMATE MEGA FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “YES” Everyone said except me and Derpus. “And in these two stations we will be doing push ups for the 15 minutes at the stations!” “Oh, I know what is about to happen.” I said to Derpus. It was fitness test week. Wait no MONTH. That is how long it took in elementary school. “Okay Henry go kill yourself for the next half hour.” Yeah, PE was tragic back then when it was not as “fun” as now. Then we went to Social Studies. (That is what they called history back then) Where we just memorised geography. (That was what we did the ENTIRE YEAR) Afterwards we went to r3ces5 where you get trapped in an empty field where there is nothing but tag and standing in groups talking. Then comes lunch! Imagine going to prison, and then give the people who make lunch in the prison a disease. Then that is half as bad as the food we got in elementary school. “SECONDS, SECONDS, PLEASE WALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Screamed the cafeteria ladies.

 

 

Then after that came Science and Language arts (English) and after that is the end of the day. And that was a GOOD day in 5th grade. But even if you are trapped in an ugly building, there is no downside to video games!

 

 

POST FAILS

As you might think, I messed up, I thought I knew what a word ment, but I somehow didn’t know what the simple “suspense” ment. Which caused me to not have a post idea for the slice of life challenge. So I will simply write about a random day, february 27th. (The day I am writing this)

 

 

So first I woke up to my little sister jumping on my bed. My cousin and grandma are watching over me/siblings/house because my parents gave up on me and went to Vienna. (That will be in a future post) I got ready for school just as normal and went to the bus stop. I got on my bus which keeps changing! I don’t know what happened to the good old bus 11 but now we just get a new bus every day.

 

 

I get on the bus and wait for years and years, the years turn into centuries until I realise that I have only been on the bus for 10 minutes. Then comes PE the class where you do the FitnessGram Pacer Test that is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 minute pacer test… OK NO MORE BORING PACER TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We already had our mid-year pacer test! Then came history, english than science. Then after school activities. Then came the end of the day (6:04 when I am writing this post) But remember, there is no downside to video games!