I saw a gang of rats attack a helpless squirrel behind Food Lion yesterday. They assaulted the squirrel then left him to die. I believe the squirrel was Simon from the popular boy band “The Chipmunks.” The ringleader of the gang known as “Ratalian Mafia” was iced out with a gold chain around his neck and a red beanie. This leads me to believe that the ringleader of the Ratalian Mafia is the well known rat-rapper “Biggie Cheese.” The Ratalian Mafia was trying to take Simon’s lunch money. It’s crazy how rappers think they can do whatever they want to innocent people just because they are famous. I even heard Biggie blasting his hit single “Mister Boombastic” on a UE Megaboom. Now everyone knows that Biggie Cheese is just another one of those “one-hit wonder” artists, so he must be running out of money from his hit single and has to resort to other means of getting that sweet, sweet bread. Taking Simon’s lunch money would seem like a solid way of gaining that grain.
Picture of Biggie Cheese in his prime:
Simon Crying after having his lunch money stolen
MLA 8 Citation: “Back at the Barnyard.” Paramount Home Entertainment, 2010.