Jackie tricked me into distracting the boys so now I don’t have a safe place to hide. I also did her a favor and she’s not letting me into her fort. When this is over i’m going to bite her ear so hard (like i do to everyone) and I’m gonna ATTEMPT to steal her food. I know she loves her food so I’m going to take that from her. I’m probably going to get beaten up after I do it though. One time I stole her food she tried to leave me outside. She tried closing the door on me when I was coming inside from playing fetch.

Oh no. This is a scary day. My owner Porter is having a birthday party and all his friends are coming over. I’m so screwed. All the boys have a huge nerf gun war and it’s in the basement around the couch area where I like to hangout. It’s another invasion. I need to make a secret hideout with Ellie. Wait, why am I letting Ellie in my hideout. I’ll make my fort in the pantry because it has everything a dog would need for a secret hideout food and a good smell. Today’s the day my normal hangout is under attack. My plan is to make Ellie distract them while i run away to make my fort. Wish me luck, I might not make it.

So as many of you may know i’m a food addict. Yup a food addict. It sounds really weird but I’m proud of it.I’m so hungry sometimes I taste myself and I taste gooooood! When I’m hungry a trick i learned is to sit there and STARE! That’s what I do and then if that doesn’t work i pretend be dead because I didn’t get any food. I like playing fetch and that’s how i lose weight. My sister gets annoyed with me sometimes because i take up most of then bed then she calls me names like FATSO!

Sometimes I scare people because i’m evil. I love sneaking up behind them and biting their legs it’s sooooo much fun. I also jump up onto the table and eat peoples food when they’re getting up to go get something. I’m a complete savage that can not be stopped not even by Jackie. Just kidding Jackie always is able to stop me. She is a lot fatter bigger and dangerous than me. Sometimes when I do bad things like bite peoples face or sleep on their face or lick their face you get the main idea right I do a lot of things to peoples faces.

  Me and Ellie are very naughty dogs. We like eating frogs and poop in the basement. Sometimes we even go on the couch. Ellie’s my little sister and she get angry really really easily so I have to be careful around her. sometimes I have to attack her to calm her down and trap her in a corner. She gets angry when someone runs away from her she gets really mad and chases them. One time I ran behind a counter to get some food and then Ellie followed me. So I ran away she tried to kill me after I ran away from her. Well this is what I think about Jackie she is really mean to me. I have a crazy mind and she doesn’t get it. She beats me up when I attack people she’s very overprotective.

Me and my sister Ellie LOVE the way our moms slippers taste. We like to steal them from her room and nibble on them in our bed. We like to play together but our mom doesn’t seem happy all the time. She also isn’t really happy about the torn up slippers. It was weird because we were fine with them being torn up. Our punishment was that we had to stay inside our room for 10 minutes. So we started wrestling together and barking. Jackie beat me up like normal because I’m the weak one and younger. But just don’t tell Jackie that I think she’s a bit fat she will KILL me.

Sometimes i just get angry. I don’t know why but I do just don’t judge me. My older sister Jackie likes attacking me when I try to bark at my mom. When i really want food i know how to get it. I sit there and stare, my mom doesn’t like it so sometimes she gives me food. I like to chew on toys but my sister Jackie hogs them so I try to sneak up on her and steal them. I’m not super stealthy so she normally sees me and chases me. When i want stuff i don’t normally get it.

Hi i’m Jackie i’m going to sleep for the next few hours because my little sister Ellie made me so tired because she was barking at me so i attacked her. Then i got hungry and started relaxing on my food bowl licking it pretending there was food there. My mom said that it wasn’t time to eat because it was only 2:00 pm. So i went to my bed to lay down.when I woke up i saw that Ellie was sitting on me. Then i started to go beg for my food again and when i did my mom started giving me food. I was so hungry i tried to steal Ellie’s but got in trouble so i had to go lay down.

On days when my dog just wants to relax she lays in the middle of the kitchen

floor and sniffs our feet.