Oh no. This is a scary day. My owner Porter is having a birthday party and all his friends are coming over. I’m so screwed. All the boys have a huge nerf gun war and it’s in the basement around the couch area where I like to hangout. It’s another invasion. I need to make a secret hideout with Ellie. Wait, why am I letting Ellie in my hideout. I’ll make my fort in the pantry because it has everything a dog would need for a secret hideout food and a good smell. Today’s the day my normal hangout is under attack. My plan is to make Ellie distract them while i run away to make my fort. Wish me luck, I might not make it.

So as many of you may know i’m a food addict. Yup a food addict. It sounds really weird but I’m proud of it.I’m so hungry sometimes I taste myself and I taste gooooood! When I’m hungry a trick i learned is to sit there and STARE! That’s what I do and then if that doesn’t work i pretend be dead because I didn’t get any food. I like playing fetch and that’s how i lose weight. My sister gets annoyed with me sometimes because i take up most of then bed then she calls me names like FATSO!

Sometimes I scare people because i’m evil. I love sneaking up behind them and biting their legs it’s sooooo much fun. I also jump up onto the table and eat peoples food when they’re getting up to go get something. I’m a complete savage that can not be stopped not even by Jackie. Just kidding Jackie always is able to stop me. She is a lot fatter bigger and dangerous than me. Sometimes when I do bad things like bite peoples face or sleep on their face or lick their face you get the main idea right I do a lot of things to peoples faces.

  Me and Ellie are very naughty dogs. We like eating frogs and poop in the basement. Sometimes we even go on the couch. Ellie’s my little sister and she get angry really really easily so I have to be careful around her. sometimes I have to attack her to calm her down and trap her in a corner. She gets angry when someone runs away from her she gets really mad and chases them. One time I ran behind a counter to get some food and then Ellie followed me. So I ran away she tried to kill me after I ran away from her. Well this is what I think about Jackie she is really mean to me. I have a crazy mind and she doesn’t get it. She beats me up when I attack people she’s very overprotective.