The Walk to the Bandroom

By: Emily Luu


I walked

My boots clunking against the floor

Students rushing past me

Shoving and pushing from all angles

Fiddling my thumbs and

My breathing



I finally reached my destination

My heart pounding out of my chest

I read the paper, searching for my name

My name jumped out at me

I yelped and gasped

And began to cry

I jumped up and down in disbelief

My smile was brighter than the sun

As happy tears pooled on my face

“I finally made it,”

I thought

1) The type of poem I wrote was a sensory detail poem.

2) I chose this event for the basis of my p0em because it highlights one of the best and most emotional moments of my eighth grade year.

3) The tone of my poem is ecstatic because throughout my poem is very excited, especially in the second stanza.

4) The theme of my poem is that hard work pays off.  This moment in my musical career was one of the biggest accomplishments I’ve ever accomplished, and it took a lot of dedication and hard work.

5) “I was fiddling my thumbs and breathing like an exhausted dog.” Is an example of a simile. This simile shows how I’ve very nervous and anxious to find out my soon to be great news.

“My name jumped out at me.” Is an example of personification. This statement shows how my name on the list was bolded and very noticeable.

6) One way I revised my poem was I changed nervously to anxiously. I substituted nervously because I felt that I needed a more specific word to explain how I was feeling in the moment.

Another way I revised my poem was that I changing “beating out of my chest” to “pounding out of my chest” So that the reader would feel the way I was feeling at the time.

7) The idea for the poem was quite easy for me to formulate, but finding more elevated language and adding figurative language was more of a challenge to me.

8) I am satisfied with my draft because it accurately represents my feelings during this important moment in my life.

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