By: Trisha Kamdar
“BANG” goes the gun shot right at the student as I’m headed home
The antagonist says “freeze”, and I stopped in my tracks
and felt something in the pit of my stomach
My teacher stood right in front of me
As the bullet is headed out from the gun
Blood is everywhere as if fruit punch spilled out of the bowl
“BANG” BANG” “BANG”
I go inside the classroom and the door locks
I tell everyone to calm down
I text my mom and told her what happened
My friend calls the police
I thought my life was over
Everyone was shot and dead and there was no help
25 other kids and I were just sitting, hiding in the closet, and crying as if we were at a funeral
I hear my mother walking into the room and waking me up
I ask her “Can I please stay at home today”
She gives me a hug and wipes away my tears as if knowing what had happened
Her sweet morning voice says “Yes” “Yes you may”
I sit on my bed pondering “Why”, “Why does it have to be like this”
- I wrote a Inspired By poem
- My source of my inspiration was an issue that has been revolving around this world for very long time. I choose to write about school gun violence because I wanted to show my feelings for this topic and how I don’t appreciate this.
- The word I chose for tone is melancholy
- The theme of my poem is “Shooting is not the way to show violence.”
- “25 other kids and I were just sitting, hiding in the closet, and crying as if we were at a funeral” This type of figurative language is a simile. This contributes to the tone and theme because it shows the sadness and how frightened the kids are.
“BANG” This type of figurative is a onomatopoeia. This contributes to the tone and theme because it shows how gun shots sound and how frightening it is.
- Revision #1: I added in figurative language like, “Blood is everywhere as if fruit punch spilled out of the bowl”
Revision #2: Instead of using the word wondering I used Pondering.
- It was easy to write this poem because since I was writing a Inspired By I thought about issues around the world, and school gun violence was a issue.
- I am satisfied with my final draft because my poem makes sense after editing and revising it.