The Boy Review

The Boy is a 2016 horror film directed by William Brent Bell. The film also stars Lauren Cohan as Greta. The film was released to mostly positive reviews from most and I would agree.

The movie revolves around Greta Evans, who is hired by a rich family to care for their home and their “son” Brahms. It turns out that their son is a doll. The doll appears to be alive and spooky antics ensue between Brahms and Greta. Outside people begin to get involved, culminating in Greta’s ex boyfriend attempting to take her back home. Brahms is smashed and the true secret is revealed….

I would give The Boy a 7/10, it is not all that frightening, even as someone who has a phobia of dolls, and the plot can seem ridiculous in my opinion. Regardless the acting and atmosphere is very well done, and the characters are good as well.

Circle Review

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Circle (2015) is a sci-fi thriller that was created by Aaron Hann and Marcio Miscone. The film can be found on Netflix which is where I watched it. This movie is 87 minutes long.

As with most low budget movies you can find on Netflix, it is very low quality. The film centers around a large group of people who have been abducted by aliens and forced to stand in a circle. If they step out of the spot they stand on then they are killed, and every few minutes they must choose a person to kill, or the device will choose at random. The group of people are from drastically different backgrounds and occupations, leading to conflict amongst them.

Due to this diverse group, and the stress of the situation, conflict breaks out over who should be killed. These include a police officer blaming and street thug for their situation, a businessman blaming an immigrant, and an atheist blaming a priest that had been abducted with them. These events generally come off as extremely funny and contrived. People secretly claim to be in a relationship to attempt to survive, further complicating things. There is little tension in the film and it is rather funny.

I would give this film a 4/10. It is entertaining but nothing more, whatever the message the film maker’s were trying to deliver falls flat.

Daddy’s Home 2

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Daddy’s Home 2 is a 2017 comedy movie starring Mark Wahlberg, Mel Gibson, and Will Ferrell. It was released to mostly negative reception, and I would have to agree.

This movie is extremely bad, and not very funny. It is very painful to watch and at times quite cringeworthy. Although I like Mel Gibson, he’s not the kind of person you imagine in a lighthearted family comedy. I personally don’t find Will Ferrell funny, so I didn’t enjoy him. The plot is incredibly stupid, perfect for those with a low IQ. Fortunately this blog is very high IQ, so I can’t recommend this dumpster fire of a film.

Overall I did not enjoy this movie, and I have no plans to watch its predecessor film either. I would give Daddy’s Home 2 a 1/10.

Mission Impossible: Fallout Review

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This movie is bad, it is predictable and the ending was atrocious. The characters were all very generic and the plot was just as predictable. There have been numerous other Mission Impossible movies, although I haven’t see any of them, so keep in mind this has likely affected my view of the movie.

While the action scenes are well made, they hold no real gravity because it’s so obvious none of the characters are going to die or be harmed in any real way. As I have stated, the plot is painfully generic, just as the characters are, I don’t even remember their names. All of the characters have ridiculous power levels that render them invincible as with many other action movies. I cant think of a single time the any of the characters were seriously injured besides in the ending fight. Tom Cruise’s character is hit by a car while travelling on a motorcycle at high speeds, and gets up to run away seconds later. As it is most of the time, the villain remains the most interesting character, but even still has such a ridiculous end goal that it’s hard to get very invested.

The ending was the worst part, with Tom Cruise climbing up a cliff and miraculously deactivating the nuclear bombs with the remote detonator, that after being kicked and thrown around numerous times, was never damaged or fell off of the cliff. The acting and action was decent, but overall the plot was dull, as were the characters, I’d give the movie a 4/10.

Mechanic: Resurrection Review

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Today I’ll be reviewing yet another Jason Statham movie, this time it is Mechanic: Resurrection. This is seemingly a sequel to the original Mechanic movie, but I had no clue this movie or its predecessor existed until I happened to stumble across this movie on TV. The movie is about a hitman named Bishop (Jason Statham), who has to assassinate a series of people or else his “employers” will kill his wife, or something like that. Let me just say that this movie makes no sense and is terrible.

Regardless, it is entertaining if you don’t take it too seriously. The action is fairly entertaining, only because Statham is fun to watch and the action scenes are surprisingly competent. The ways Statham goes about killing his targets is great because of how unorthodox and ridiculous they are. For one kill, Statham gets himself put into a maximum security prison on an island in shark infested waters to kill one of his targets by strangling him. He then sets the body up to make it look like the man is praying when his henchmen come to check on him. Statham sets explosive gum he previously bought on a wall and breaks out, rubbing shark repellant on himself and swimming away.

For another kill, he drills a hole into the bottom of his target’s pool, which hangs out from his penthouse to the streets below. The pool shatters and the man is then sent plummeting to his death. There are many other things that just generally don’t make sense in regards to the plot, and the various characters’ motivations. In the end Statham has to escape a yacht before it self destructs, just to show how over the top the movie can be. I give it a 5/10.

The Meg (2018) Review

The Meg is a 2018 film that stars Jason Statham and the Chinese actress Li Bingbing. It was directed by Jon Turteltaub. The Meg is one of those movies where you just need to turn your brain off and watch it. It is a surface level summer blockbuster and nothing more, fun to watch but has no actual depth. One thing I can praise is that it has very good special effects.

The plot of the movie revolves around an oceanic research team that explores the Mariana trench. Upon reaching the bottom they find a layer of hydrogen sulfide, beneath that they discover an environment flourishing within, as well as a living Megalodon. The crew that travels down is accidently releases the Megalodon into the oceans, which begins to wreak havoc. Jason Statham and the other main characters are then forced to track it down and kill it.

The Meg is, as I said, fun to watch and features very good special effects. I personally saw it in 3D with a few friends. Although I normally dislike 3D, it did lead to some memorable moments. During one scene, the Meg eats a man who was in an inflatable ball, causing part of it to fly at the screen, which scared my friend. The acting is fine, it’s not terrible and nothing special, just good. Although normally I would despise a movie more for being mediocre than straight up horrendous. In the case of movies like this, “creature features”, I don’t expect anything great and enjoy them because of it.

Overall, the movie is decent but very enjoyable. I would give it a 7/10.

Critique of Open House

 

I watched the Open House a Netflix original horror movie. The movie stars Dylan Minette, Piercy Dalton, and Sharif Atkins. I wouldn’t be surprised if none of those names you can recognize. Following in suit with other Netflix originals the Open House is an atrocious movie, it isn’t scary, interesting, nor is the acting anything above mediocre. I will spoiling certain events as the movie is horrible and you shouldn’t watch it. The movie follows Logan, who after his father’s death moves into their cousin’s large mountain home with his mother.

First of all, it fails completely as a horror movie, there isn’t a single moment that scared me or put me on edge and the only thing I can applaud is that it doesn’t rely on jumpscares. At the very beginning of the movie the screen is all black and you can hear heavy breathing, implying something is happening, but as it turns out it’s just Logan going for a run. This is a common trope in horror movies and a terrible one at that. The antagonist of the movie is a mysterious serial killer listed as the “Man in Black”, and by mysterious I mean it because nothing is revealed about him, and he has no relationship with the characters or is there any greater meaning to his character.

The movie constantly leads you to believe there is some greater power at work, but nothing ever happens. In the basement of the house, there is a collapsed tunnel that leads out, this would lead you to believe that maybe this is related to the killer, nope. Logan and his mother also run into a crazy woman who speaks of her husband, it’s heavily implied that her husband is related to or is the killer, however this isn’t the case either. At one point the killer plays a song that played when Logan’s father was killed, despite this, the killer has no relation to his father’s death. Despite his size, the killer is able to creep around the house completely unnoticed.

The characters are all killed in the end as expected and in ridiculous ways. Logan’s mother is kidnapped and taken to the basement by the killer, where she is killed when Logan accidentally stabs her after the killer throws her at him. The killer chases Logan down and removes his contacts, leaving him to wander around the woods until the morning, when the killer finishes him off. The movie then ends with the killer driving to another open house. This movie as previously stated was awful and I would not recommend it to anyone. I would give it 3/10, and it can at least be funny at times due to how stupid it is.