Moments from this semester that made me happy to be a teacher and/or forced me to draw a very purposeful breath…
Teacher’s open water bottle drops on the floor and as it rolls it spills in a semi-circle pattern on the carpet. A different teacher observes it and says — very uncharacteristic of this teacher — that it looked like a demonic ritual is about to take place.
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Ms. Sim needs help saving an email. I guide her through the process of downloading webpage as pdf. She has to create a new folder for the pdf. She grabs my arm as she finally understands what she is doing. “Ummm, little creature, yeah, I think I got this, uh huh.”
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Gabbi says I remind her of the Man with the Yellow Hat from the Curious George series.
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No greater distillation of teenage innocence than the kid who says hi to a teacher (in the hallway, in the office, in the parking lot) for no other reason than to simply to be acknowledged.
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“Hope no one weighs my produce at the end of the day.” -Mr. Panagos, in reference to being productive.
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The comfort of seeing a student who is annoying in your class act equally annoying in another class.
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Multiple presentations for teachers that include words spelled with Scrabble tiles. Like “teamwork” and “safety.”
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“We have an agreement with [their homeroom teacher]. We don’t bother her, and she doesn’t bother us.”
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“Looks at him; he’s got a guitar.” -Boy, derisively, to his friend as I push my rig down the hallway.
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Wes and Tyler ritualistically pass a single Lego tile back and forth each class.
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Ms. Eom: I once had a student who sat and did nothing during the SOL.
Kale: GOAT-ed
Cooper: yeah, that’s a W student
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First student I see this morning after being at the Nats home opener: “Mr. Scott, did you go to the beach?”
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This clock has had its battery replaced three times this year, and it always breaks after a few days.
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“[teacher] is the best”
“[teacher]’s an opp” -whiteboard graffiti
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Responsible freshman walking her senior sister to the detention room to make sure she makes it to lunch detention.
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I decide to revise a model essay displayed on the Promethean Board, the class dutifully sighing and erasing what they wrote in their journals to match mine.
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I used Peardeck for the first time this week. I keep saying Nearpod though. In my head they’re interchangeable. But it deeply confuses the students when I say Nearpod but mean Peardeck. So they correct me, but I sometimes say Nearpod again accidentally. Peardeck. Nearpod. Peardeck. Nearpod. I trip over it so much throughout the day that eventually the students politely inquire if I am having a stroke.
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Cam: this college is recruiting me for football. I forget its name. Pretty sure it’s a Christian school.
Me: what’s its name?
Cam: [checks] uhhh Catholic University.
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“‘Stud nuts’” is my most common misspelling, always when I’m trying to write ‘students.'” -IFT Amy
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Me: “How’s the pizza?”
Teacher: “It’s very, very…it’s Dominos”
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Me (to freshman violin player): “do you like Paganini? My favorite caprice of his is 24.”
Freshman: “Ugh, basic!”
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“Someone threw up, and it looks like they walked down the entire hallway doing it.” – Custodian sprinkling vomit powder along the floor
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I see two students walking the hallway, repeatedly passing my area, but claiming they’re allowed to be out of class. I email their teacher to make sure they indeed are allowed outside. Teacher offers this gnomic response:
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They accidentally sent deficiency notices to all students, not just those with actual deficiencies, freaking the hell out of all the Type A students.
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Olyvia: we just made edible cookie dough while you were giving that lesson. We put too much salt in it, though, so it tastes bad.
Me: Ok. How’s the conclusion to your rhetorical analysis paper coming?
Olyvia: I’m actually really confused.
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Lauren: In fifth grade I got the least-annoying-person-in-the-class award.
Me: From your fellow students?
Lauren: No, from my teacher.
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Me: “Are you going to take your time on the SOL essay tomorrow?”
Student: “I don’t know. We’ll see.”
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Coworker brought a thing of Costco turkey wraps for a pot luck. Someone ripped it open and ate one in the morning before the pot luck began. Coworker was (rightly) disturbed. Who could have done such a thing?
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Group of English 10 students telling stories about getting their gum balls changed to yellow in elementary school, still defensive and angry about that slight, which apparently was never justified.
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“The worst thing happened. He cut his hair. The guy in guitar class. Those beautiful locks.” -student to friend in homeroom
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“Second time wearing braces. Yeah. I didn’t wear my retainer the first time. My parents are pretty pissed. ”
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“Students who want to be lawyers are always the worst writers.” -Colleague
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“There’s less of you to age, so you age faster.” -Girl in the hallway, to her short friend.