By Zaid Shaikh
I can feel this power around me
I smell burning nearby
This warmth around me
jumping it’s way closer and closer.
The heat so hot and so painful and at its prime
as I watch the wax slowly trickles down till it hits the cake.
Suddenly the pain vanishes,
everything is calm and soft.
The pain was so harsh all I could feel is the emptiness
as the wax continued to roll down.
Every sensation that I had meant nothing
except for the current one, peace substituting the gaps for emptiness.
This poem has good figurative language and flows.
Very good sensory detail ur painting a picture in my mind.
I was able to visualize the scene through your descriptive imagery and figurative language.
The sensory details in this poem are on point with your descriptions of the ash and wax.
Very nice figurative language and this poem flows very smoothly.
I like that you described the feeling that the candle gave you instead of just describing the candle.
You forgot to put a space between two lines but it has lots of figurative language like “ everything is calm and soft.”
I can easy visualize this. The sensory details were used well.
Hi zedd this william fata, this is a good poem good job!
i like how your poem made me fell calm
i aslo wanted to say u have amazing talent u used good fig lang which was good
I liked how you had amazing sensory details.