By: Kaurvaki Bajpai
Stress slowly consumed me, gnawing at my mind.
But it disappeared like a cry into the wind.
I was in paradise.
Ocean breeze gently blew the hair from my illuminating eyes.
Barren land stood in front of me. Fluffy, cotton-like
clouds slowly drifted away like tumbleweeds.
Colors of the sky and hints of teal shimmered
from the great, vast ocean. Untamed
rays scorched my skin.
Running at the speed of light, I reached the forgiving water.
The icy, arctic elements cooled me in an instant.
Deeper and deeper I went, but the waves were resilient
and pushed back. Water splashed and sploshed around my neck.
Majestic birds flew gracefully into the sky, echoing their song of freedom.
Stunned, breath escaped my mouth.
I was in paradise.
I like the amount of sensory detail you included in your poem.
I liked how you used a lot of figurative language and sensory details. It created a whole other picture in my mind.