By: Ashley Walters

A peaceful shadow

had settled over the room.

I blinked comfortably,

though unsure of why I was awake.

A whimper caused me to startle,

propping myself on my elbows.

A shadow circled by my feet.

I watched it grow closer.

Soft fur brushed my arms

and my vision was blocked by black.

I extended my hand,

not used to her affection.

I was struck suddenly

by how hot the room was.

She was panting

and nudging herself under my arms.

My eyes blinked rapidly as tears welled up.

Was this how it would end for her?

Tucked under my arm and overheated?

I pulled her closer,

shutting my eyes as I hoped for the best.

1.  I published a sensory poem.
2.  I chose this event because it was a very emotional time for me.
3.  The tone of my poem is somber.
4.  The theme of my poem is the time when I was afraid my dog was going to die.
5.  Two examples of figurative language in my poem are “soft fur” and “how hot the room was.” “Soft fur” is touch imagery, and helps the poem by showing the reader the situation. “Hot hot the room was” is also tough imagery, and helps the poem by adding an undercurrent of being uncomfortable.
6. Two ways I revised this poem is by changing “realized” to “struck” and “raised my head” to “startle.” Both of these revisions have negative connotations, and they fit better than words with neutral connotations.
7. This poem was difficult to write because it was an event that was very personal to me.
8. I am somewhat satisfied with my poem, because I like how the flow of the words works, but I do not think my word choice conveys the mood I had chosen.

By: Gaby Figueroa-Badel

1. Strolling along the boardwalk,
2. The crunch of sand bits under our shoes,
3. A strong mix of scents fill the air,
4. One of sweet fluffy clouds sold on a stick,
5. Another of the tangy salt air,
6. Both blown up in our faces,
7. Playing a game of Tug ‘o’ War on our noses,
8. Slowly parting from the sea of glowing neon lights, game music, and children yelling of joy,
9. Soon enough,
10. We’re standing right in the middle,
11. Of where two exotic elements meet each other,
12. Ginormous bubbles of the waves crashing down,
13. Onto the powdery white sand,
14. I let go of his grasp,
15. Which had held onto me like the harness of a zipline,
16. To immerse my toes into the cold mixture of the clear water and sand,
17. I look up slightly blinded,
18. By the big, bright, beaming star in the sky,
19. As it slowly reaches down lining up with the ocean,
20. Its rays bouncing up and down the water,
21. I spin my head around only to find him staring straight at me,
22. A crooked grin from ear to ear,
23. The softest eyes looking deep within my soul,
24. Beautiful lashes batting at mine,
25. I smile back,
26. Letting him know that everything happening is real,
27. And not in his head,
28. For it’s in mine,
29. And I cherish every minute of it.

1. I published a Sensory detail Poem

1. I choose this event because it was a nice memory of a dream I had, and I figured that the beach had many chances to put in sensory details.

1. I believe that the tone is empathetic.

1. Enjoying and savoring wonderful moments, are a part of life that people should hold onto and be grateful for.

1. The first example of figurative language is:
   1. “By the big, bright, beaming star in the sky,”
   2. The type of figurative language is alliteration.
   3. I believe that this line of figurative language contributes to the poem and  is a kind of reminder to the reader that everything about this poem is relaxing, and calming.

The second example of figurative language is:

1. 1. “Playing a game of Tug ‘o’ War on our noses,”
   2. The type of figurative language is personification.
   3. This type of figurative language contributes to the poem by really explaining to the reader how strong the scents are, and yet how they might be complete opposites, they are pleasant to smell.

6. The first revision I made was:

1. I changed “Sweet and fluffy clouds sold on a stick,” to “One of sweet fluffy clouds sold on a stick,”.
2. I changed this line because I felt that the reader needed to know that I was only talking about to scents in the poem, and felt that, that was the best way to differentiate them. I also took out the “and” between “sweet” and “fluffy” because I did not think that it was needed.

The second revision I made was:

1. Lines 7,8, and 9 were originally going to say “As we slowly part from the sea of, Bright, signs, game music, and people screaming, Joy after winning stuffed animals from games,”. I revised and edited those lines by typing line 8 as “Slowly parting from the sea of glowing neon lights, game music, and children yelling of joy,” and completely replacing line 9 with “Soon enough,”.
2. I edited those lines because I think the ones before them were too intense and were nowhere near the peaceful setting I wanted in my poem. I also believe that the old line of 9 did not even contribute to the main idea of the poem.

7. It was very easy to type up this poem because I already had half of the material written up, and even though I changed much of the content, I found that the words just keep flowing once you have a solid idea in mind, with many supportive details.

8. I am very satisfied with my final draft because I consider myself a good writer. Whenever I start to write about a story that I’ve had in mind for awhile, it almost always comes out the way that I thought it would. That’s exactly what happened with my piece here, so I am happy with it.

By: Christine Jang

I slowly open my groggy eyes.

Swaddled by my feathery covers.

The murmur of each raindrop falling onto the hard rooftop

Fills my ears.

My colorless,

Yet simplistic

Room is dimmed by the half opened curtains,

Looking out to the gray sky and faintly painted clouds.

I pull my curly, coarse hair up like a bird’s nest.

My clumsy hand hovers over the cold, hard bed stand

Obtaining my awkward-fitting, smudged glasses,

That sits comfortably on my small nose.

The subtle sound of quiet breathing coming from my sister’s room

Fills the empty hallway.

Vigilant of making a loud noise,

Cautious of disrupting the peaceful silence of roaring stillness.

I walk down the narrow staircase,

My nose following the pervaded aroma of gingerly, warm honey tea.

The glimpse of the small living room lamp,

Reflects off my father’s glasses,

Who was rushing out of the house,

Grabs the keys with clashing rumble.

He looks up with a surprised and affectionate smile,

Kisses my cold, untouched forehead with a warm kiss.

The wooden, front door is creaked open.

The sound of the pouring hard rain emits through the whole, silent house.

Soon after, the door is closed.

Immediately hushing the interrupting buzz of the busy outside.

Reflection:

1. I published a sensory detail poem.
2. I chose a rainy Saturday morning as the basis of my poem because this was still a very vivid, clear, fond memory I could remember well.
3. The tone of my poem is serene.
4. The theme of my poem is that a memory does not have to be extravagant.
5. a) “I pull my curly, coarse hair up like a bird’s nest”
6. b) This is a simile because it uses the word “like” and is comparing my hair to a bird’s nest.
7. c) This figurative language contributes to the tone and theme development by talking about an unimportant, daily part of a typical day contributing into a fond memory.
8. a) “Swaddled by my feathery covers”
9. b) This is personification because it uses a human action, swaddling, to describe a non-human object, the covers.
10. c) This figurative language contributes to the tone and theme development by showing a calm, harmonious tone to add onto the serene tone and a daily action into peaceful memory.
11. I changed “sound” to “murmur” because it shows a more calm, peaceful mood and a sensory detail to better understand the story.
12. I added “empty” to hallway because it showed a more sight detail and added a neutral tone.
13. This was a fairly easy poem for me to write because this memory was easy to remember and I was able to add much sensory detail within the story.
14. I am satisfied with my final draft because it showed all the emotions and tone I was feeling while living the memory, and I am content with small, yet important exaggerated events that happened within the poem that helps give much detail.