By: Adrian Bouchard
1,2,3,4,5,6
My feet wade through the sidewalk
The cement grabs at my feet
Wanting to drag me down
7,8,9,10
This world is an endless pit of darkness,
Unfamiliar
Terrifying
11,12,13,14
They scratch at my skull
Faceless voices
Urging me this way and that
15,16,17,18
A car drives by
Its driver glaring at me
They want to hurt you
Not safe here
19,20,21
A sickening cold feeling rises from my stomach
It seeps through me
22,23
I run
Review Questions:
- This is a sensory detail poem.
- I chose this event because it was something that happened recently.
- The tone is unsettled.
- The theme is anxiety and paranoia
- Two examples of figurative language are “The cement grabs at my feet” (personification) and “This world is an endless pit of darkness” (metaphor) these quotes helps me describe the scene properly without being literal.
- Revision #1: I changed “my feet drag” to “my feet wade” because I saw an opportunity to use more descriptive words. Revision #2: I changed “an empty feeling” to “a sickening feeling” because I felt that empty wasn’t the right word.
- This poem was fairly easy to write because it was something that happened recently.
- I am satisfied with my final draft.