By: Athan Burke
The sun was out but hiding behind the clouds
There was big gusts of wind, blowing fresh air on me
My hammock swung lightly in the canopy
I could see butterflies hovering above me
And a bird was chirping in the distance
Suddenly a gust of wind blew
And lifted me and my hammock into the air suspended
I felt a buzz in my pocket, a severe storm alert
I looked up and the white puffy clouds were no longer white
And no longer puffy, there was a large dark Cumulonimbus cloud above me
the storm cloud was as dark as the tinted windows on the presidents limo
A crack of lightning made me aware of the storms presence
Thunder that could be heard for miles was there
The sprinkle of rain became a downpour on my head
That was when it was time for me to get down
Reflection
1. I published a Sensory Detail Poem.
2. I chose this event as the basis for my poem because when this event occured it occured to me that nature has many possible outcomes and that things can come out of nowhere when you least expect them.
3. The tone of my poem is abrupt.
4. The theme of my poem is “Anything can happen instantaneously and anywhere”
5. Figurative language example #1-
“I looked up and the white puffy clouds were no longer white and no longer puffy, there was a large dark gray storm cloud above me”, this example is a metaphor it is comparing 2 things that are different so in this case cumulus clouds and Cumulonimbus clouds. This represents the quick change in the area in my poem.
5. Figurative language example #2- “the storm cloud was as dark as the tinted windows on the presidents limo” this is an example of a simile because it is comparing two things using like or as. This lets the Reader have a feeling of how dark the storm cloud is and what the atmosphere is like.
6. Revision #1 “All of a sudden a gust of wind blew” I revised this line to “suddenly a gust of wind blew”. The reason I revised this line was because it was too long and when I use the suddenly it lets the reader know whats going on.
6. Revision #2 “there was a large dark gray storm cloud above me” I revised this line to “there was a large dark gray cumulonimbus cloud above me”. The reason I revised this line was because it occurred to me that the word storm and cloud was coming up to often in the poem and I didn’t want it to be overused. When I was revising this line I did decide to keep in dark and gray because most people don’t know that a cumulonimbus cloud is a storm cloud so I added in some context clues.
7. This poem was pretty easy to write the only difficult part was finding a starting point and topic after that it was a breeze. I have no problem writing poems because we wrote a lot of them in sixth grade and that made me feel much more comfortable writing this poem. Though I would have rather wrote a Haiku because I am good with those.
8. I am satisfied with my final draft because I have checked over it multiple times and I am positive my grade will be fine, this poem was pretty easy to write but I still tried my best.