Paradise

by: Hannah Collado

As I walk off the pavement stairs

My feet sink into the sand

Soft as a feather

But still a few seashells poking at my feet

I start to run towards the ocean

The vibrate blue ocean

As blue as topaz necklace

I walk into the cooling water

Making my body temperature go down

From the bright sun heating up my skin.   

As I hear the soothing sound of the ocean

And the sweet taste of a strawberry daiquiri

I now know this is paradise.

 

1. I published a sensory detail poem.

2. I chose this place for my poem becuase I have been there many many times.

3. The tone of my poem is soothing.

4. The theme of my poem is that everyone has a paradise.

5. “Soft as a feather” (simile) it helps the reader visualize what the sand feels like.

“As blue as a topaz necklace” (simile) it helps the reader picture the ocean.

6. I changed topaz to topaz necklace because I feel like ti flows better.

I  changed nice taste to sweet taste because some people may have never had a strawberry daiquiri before so it helps them taste it.

7. This poem was easy to write because I’ve been there so many times I know how to describe it.

8. I am very satisfied with my final draft because I feel it makes people belive they were there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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