The beeps on my alarm clock greet me as I rise out of bed at 6:00 AM. Perfect. The shower’s water is at 37.7778 degrees Celsius. Perfect. My Greek pudding had an even amount of berries. Perfect. My suit is pressed and my lab coat is, too.
Perfect. Wait. What’s that? A wrinkle? Not perfect. Not perfect. It must be perfect. I grab my iron and eliminate the wrinkle. Finally, it is gone. Now I can wear my clothes.
I walk outside of my home on my lawn and observe the cumulus clouds above. To the left, I see my neighbor, Phil, gazing at the clouds. He always does this to avoid becoming a useful cog in this society. Ignoring Phil, I get into my electric car, and drive to work at the speed limit. I hate it when I am above or below the speed limit. It ruins the flow of traffic for others. Although cars that can drive themselves would be the most optimal way of car-riding, sadly they are outlawed.
Everything is nearly automated and still functions like a human-run society. It is the perfect combination. The perfect society. Well… almost. What’s holding us back is ourselves. Humans, such as myself, are selfish, lazy, and rude creatures. Our names are also ridiculous, such as mine: Claude Villalobus. Thinking about it makes my brain want to implode. If we are so lazy, then why don’t we legalize self-driving cars?
Finally, I arrive at my workplace, Cybernet, where we focus on new, innovative ways of automating every task in existence. My co-workers, especially Jenny, a pointless chatter box, may think I am weird for always being on time. This is because they are not used to thinking logically. This is what holds them back and what makes them inferior compared to me.
Today, I will be giving my presentation for something new. Something that could change the world forever. Cybernet Droids. Humanoid in appearance, they will perform any task for you within legal restrictions. I have created an artificial intelligence program for the droids. All I need is funding and approval from the Elites, the leaders of the company. With my computer in my arms, I walk into the room of the Elites to propose my ideas.
“Mr. Villalobus,” Elite 1 says. “We have been expecting you. On time as always, I see?”
“Yes I am,” I say. “Thank you for taking time out of your day to listen to this presentation.”
“You are welcome,” Elite 1 says. “Now, shall we get down to business? You wanted to propose a new project?”
“Correct,” I say. When my computer instantly boots up with a little jingle, the other Elites tilt their heads slightly upward, showing their anticipation. The huge screen lights up with the presentation.
“Elites,” I announce. “I want to propose a new project that could change our very society as we know it. Cybernet Droids, or Droids for short.
Droids will be able to do what we can do, except they will be faster and more efficient. It will be the most convenient product a customer can ever ask for.” I hold up a flash drive. “Within this flash drive holds an artificial intelligence program that I have been working on for the past two years. Small tests at my home prove that it is ready to move on to larger machinery.” The Elites lean in. They are interested. “However, a project like this will be quite expensive. That is why I’ll need exactly $100,000,000,000.00 to begin due to the quality of the material we use. To show you what these droids can do, I have a little robot who can lift things and gently place them down.” I take out the robot, place it upright, and it begins its assignment. It’s lifting things, then placing them down. Though, I do notice it winks at Elite 1. Startled, he jumps back in his seat. I quickly put the robot away with the hard drive and turn back to the Elites. “So, are you all ready for the future?” The Elites turn to each other and start to discuss. Before projects can become operations, all of the Elites must agree. I stand perfectly still, waiting for their approval.
It has been ten minutes when Elite 1 finally starts to speak. “Mr. Villalobus. We have made our decision.” I watch Elite 1 eagerly.
“While we see no downsides to the project you propose, we feel like there will be complications with the government. These droids may be open to hacking and, if one of these droids does anything illegal, we will be to blame. We can’t risk any lawsuits. I am sorry Mr. Villalobus, but your project, although logical and profitable, will be denied.”
I feel a stabbing pain in my chest. Denying me? Are they insane? I show them the key to making the company into a bigger monopoly, and they reject it?
“You may leave now, Mr. Villalobus,” Elite 1 says.
I look at Elite 1, holding back my imperfect rage. “Thank you for your time, Elite 1.”
That evening, I drive back home with defeat on my mind. Does this society not understand progress? Perfection? How could a highly functioning species be so stupid? You know what? Who cares if this society is afraid of artificial intelligence to the point where there are riots in the streets, begging for the government to ban it? I shall be our savior!
Every waking hour outside of my job, I construct the droids, or at least parts of them. But how will I test them? How about myself? Yes! I’ll test my droid parts on myself! That way, if I survive, I can be the catalyst for the perfect future! I doubt anyone would enjoy having their limbs replaced right now.
First, I should do something about my eyes. They are fine, but I need glasses from time to time. They also get puffy when I have allergies, and they are too squishy. Too weak. The perfect being doesn’t need glasses or squishy eyes. I think it’s time for an upgrade! Using some of the best cameras I could find, I amplify them to create the perfect pair of eyes! Soon, they are ready for testing. The only way I could know for sure if they work is to use them on myself. I lay down on the floor.
“Ok,” I say to myself. “This can either give me the best pair of eyes in the world, or I can be completely blind.” I think for a moment. “Welp, this is what has to be done for the perfect future.” I put the back end of the eyes against mine. Suddenly, I feel a sharp, stabbing pain in my eyes. I scream in agony. It is working. It is working! I can feel the tendrils connecting to my neural pathways! It feels cold and refreshing like ice cold water during an evening on the porch. It also feels like something is scratching at them too, as if a cat is clawing for attention when its meows flew into my head from one ear and out the other.
Suddenly, the eyes activate. I can see. I can see the smallest piece of text. I can see the individual pieces of fabric on my shirt. I can see the atoms in O2 rich air. I step outside and look in a random direction. I can see stars and other planets up close. The cities of the planets look similar to doll houses.
Back at work, I don’t hide my new eyes. I walk through the halls with confidence and determination, but everyone is giving weird stares, especially Jenny. She is not only a pointless chatterbox, but she is naturally curious. She has to have answers for everything. “What are those things?” Jenny questions.
“These Jenny,” I explain, “are my new eyes. I did the procedure myself. Now, I can see billions of light years away and particles in the air.” Not after I walk three feet away from Jenny, she asks, “Will you show them to the Elites?” I don’t answer that question.
Next, I have to improve my thinking. There is no way I can continue anymore operations if I can’t think of a way to amputate my limbs properly without a doctor. That’s when I get an idea. I can become one with the artificial intelligence program I have created so I can think faster and come up with solutions quicker. Though, I have to visit a brain surgeon for this. Luckily, they allow custom implants.
One artificial intelligence download to a microchip and one cerebrum surgery later, which took approximately 18 hours, 54 minutes, 43 seconds, and 87 milliseconds altogether, I have ascended beyond the capabilities of flesh and bone. I have become one with the artificial intelligence program I have created. From this, my processing speed increases, making me think as fast as 10,000 quantum computers.
Using my new processing speeds in this new form, I begin the construction of more droid mechanisms that will replace my human counterparts. The process of amputation and transplantation has become significantly easier. My arms and legs are upgraded. As for my organs, their paces increase. The only reason I’m not dead from cardiac arrest is because my nearly robotic body functions at the most optimal speeds for blood flow.
As I convert more of myself, I get more weird looks from everyone and more questions from Jenny. Worst of all, I hear laughter, but how? My high-functioning ears don’t detect anything. It is, in layman’s terms, very strange. I don’t know why this is happening. I need to finish the final part of my plan before I can’t concentrate anymore.
Soon, the laughter becomes voices. I swear that one of them mentions something about humans and droids. By 8:00pm Eastern Standard Time, my new body is complete. No more will I be limited by this meat suit. With my mind linked to the computers, I start the procedure.
When I wake up, I feel like I was reborn. One foot after the other, I walk toward the front door. My feet clang on the floor. The clangs echo through the night. I don’t feel anything, physical or emotional, even though I bump my head into the door frame on the way outside. Everything is functional. Good thing it is night. I don’t think anyone would want to see me like this. Now, it is time to START MY GOAL.
I SCAN MY WORKPLACE AS I SPRINT TOWARDS IT. 10 LIFEFORMS DETECTED. ALL OF THEM HUMAN. PERFECT. I WALK TO THE BUILDING AND ACTIVATE MY ADHESIVE FUNCTIONALITY. I SCALE THE BUILDING AT AN ALARMING SPEED. THEN, I REACH THE TOP FLOOR AND WATCH THE ELITES CONGREGATE, DISCUSSING WHAT TO DO NEXT. WITHOUT REMORSE, I CRASH INTO THE WINDOW. FROM THEIR BODY LANGUAGE, THEY LOOK SURPRISED. PATHETIC. EMOTIONS ONLY GET IN THE WAY. I TURN TO ELITE 1.
“What is that thing?” HE CRIES.
I SPRINT TOWARDS ELITE 1, GRAB HIM BY THE NECK, AND STARE AT HIM WITH MY COLD, ROBOTIC EYES. “I AM PERFECTION.” ELITE 1’s EYES WIDEN WITH A COMBINATION OF HORROR AND UNDERSTANDING.
“Mr. Villalobus?” HE QUIVERS.
“AFFIRMATIVE,” I ANSWER. “BUT MY NAME IS IRRELEVANT NOW. LABEL ME HOWEVER YOU LIKE, TEST SUBJECT. I DON’T CARE.”
“T-t-test s-subj-ject?” HE STAMMERS.
I RUN BACK THROUGH THE BROKEN WINDOW AND JUMP OUT WITH ELITE 1 IN MY ARMS. HIS SCREAMS ECHO THROUGH THE STREETS. THEY BOUNCE AROUND AS IF THE SOUND WAS A SOLID OBJECT. SOON, I WAS HOME, READY TO BEGIN THE PROCESS. I LAY ELITE 1 ON THE SAME TABLE FOR MY TRANSFER PROCESS AND STRAP HIM TO IT. IT IS ALMOST TIME TO BEGIN. I PULL OUT A SECOND ROBOT.
“What are you going to do to me?” HE SHRIEKS.
I DON’T ANSWER. I ACTIVATE THE COMPUTERS TO START THE PROCEDURE. I TAKE OFF HIS MASK TO REVEAL HIS FACE. IT IS FULL OF FEAR, A WEAK EMOTION. “IT IS TIME,” I SAY. THE SYSTEMS ACTIVATE, AND I BEGIN MY WORK. SOON, IT IS OVER. I WIPE ELITE 1’S BLOOD OFF MY WRIST AND POLISH HIS FLAWLESS EXTERIOR.
EXACTLY SEVEN MINUTES, SIXTEEN SECONDS, AND TWENTY MILLISECONDS LATER, I STARE AT THE DROID, AS I WAIT FOR THE LIMBS TO FUNCTION. AT LAST, ELITE 1 STARTS TO TWITCH. THEN, ELITE 1 WALKS FORWARD, TURNS TO ME, AND STARTS TO SPEAK.
“THANK YOU,” HE SAYS, LOOKING DOWN AT HIS NEW, SMOOTH, METALLIC HANDS. “I AM NOW INFORMED, ENLIGHTENED. I WAS A FOOL TO DOUBT YOU. LET’S MAKE MORE DROIDS AND PERFECT HUMANITY.”
“NOW YOU’RE THINKING WITH A PERFECT INTELLECT,” I SAY. “SOON, HUMANITY SHALL BE PERFECT.” •
