I stand hunched over, gripping the sink with both of my hands. The restroom is littered with puddles of water, and soggy paper towel scraps dot my periphery. Amidst the chamber’s foul aroma, I breathe heavily in desperate attempts not to gag. My face still drips wet from sweat and after several splashes of tap water; the water was perhaps tinted with the salty taste of tears as well. I can hear the calls of the outside permeating the concrete walls as though they try to rip me away from my getaway space. I’m alone in here.

With nervous panic, my eyes dart from the clumped hair in the drain to my shaking hands. Then, they shift to the broken tiles of the floor before they lock onto someone’s eyes. They look back at me.

Their eyes. I see someone whose confidence falters just as mine has. Someone whose tribulations of the past weeks have bore no fruit. Who is scared to set foot out of this wretched place. Who is afraid to face the adversity that lies outside. As I brush my plume of hair aside my forehead, they do the same to their messy head of hair.

We chuckle. So I’m not alone here after all. We share a comfortable silence with each other, taking in the gravity of the moment. We both face a great trial outside that restroom door. Today is our last day to perform. Today is our last chance to show that months of practice have paid off. If it doesn’t work, it would have all been for nothing.

For a moment, I close my eyes. The sounds that pulled me from the outside disappear. I hear only the droplets of water fall from my face and the dull thump of my heartbeat in my ear. I feel only the cool ceramic touch of the sink on my fingertips and the goosebumps of my arm against my sleeve. Each breath I take echoes through my chest.

I open my eyes, meeting their eyes again. I see someone who also faces a great trial outside that door as I do. Someone who has another chance to prove themself. Someone who has nothing to lose. Someone who needlessly let the fear of their failure weigh themself down.

I decide that I’ve lulled long enough here. I make for the door and hold it open for no one in my exit, as the room has remained empty since my arrival. Although someone has gone in, clouded with doubt and fear, they left having shed the burden of their worry. For the one looking in the mirror is not alone…

…because they have someone to rely on.

 

written by Edmund Garcia

edited by Saanvi Gutta

Golubovy. (2019). Personal professional help depression aid rescue stock photo [Photograph]. iStock. https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/personal-professional-help-depression-aid-rescue-gm1140683063-305335417?phrase=hand%20gripping%20sink