This is a special one. Sort of in the same vein to my poems Float and Before School, this is a bit of a word painting(Thanks Macy) of how I felt on a certain night. Again, if you just want to read the poem without context and just take in the piece feel free to skip the rest of this paragraph and read it. If not, here is as much context as I would like to share. This was written after the last night of Bye Bye Birdie. It was a big deal because it was the last show that I would ever be in with the seniors. Everyone was crying, but I was not. I don’t know why I just couldn’t. After the show I just went home and collapsed into bed in a stupor of depression. I didn’t even wash my face. Sorry, I’m being dark again, I know. Change is just a very difficult thing and this is how I felt. Hope you enjoy.
Waiting for the present moment to be the future in my bed with my phone liltingly droning in my tympanum.
That’s what tonight was like.
Foundation in my pores and soul. Tears filling my skin but not leaving my eyes.
Feeling alone in everything is difficult when people constantly remind you how much they love you,
But somehow I manage.
I’m reminded of the sticky wet summers and the pain of growth.
Reminded of my insignificance and my small actions and how they in fact do not matter.
And I am thankful.
Then all there is is breath and water and the color changing turtle night light in my bathroom.