Hello everyone. This poem was written during school, and I think many of you will be able to relate. My general thoughts and emotions about school are not very positive, and when I have to wake up before school the prospect of waking up and spending effort to go to the place I spend the whole time wishing I was home. Anyways, here’s the product of an anxiety and depression filled day.

 

 

Before School

 

Eyes are very good at staring at nothing when their job is to stare at something.

How easy it is to sit and curl your hopes around yourself and stare at nothing.

How easy the blanket pours warmth into you while it barely registers.

Reality is an abusive partner that flings verbal spears into my mind.

 

A blanket covers me fully,

One of the ones you can see through when you press it to your face,

But I didn’t do that.

 

I felt the flames on my feet and let them warm me to burning.

At least I could feel them.

 

I cannot get up.

 

3 thoughts on “Before School: A.D. March 28, 2019”

  1. Okay so similar to the Two roads poem you have a split in ideas here. It almost feels like two different poems. Your first stanza is well put together. It conveys the idea that I believe you were intending to create. I’m stilling thinking about how applicable your very first sentence was. Very powerful, good job on that one. Definitely my favorite stanza I’ve read in poetry this year.

    1. I understand your criticism however I disagree. The purpose is to feel slightly disjointed because that’s what it feels like it. The emotion was disjointed and split. Also, at least to me, they do relate to each other, you might just not get that, and that’s fine, but I think they do. Thanks for the criticism though.

  2. …(continuing) I see the 4-3-2-1 you were going in with the dwindling effect. I know what this represents to me, but I don’t want to assume it means the same to you. It feels like you go from a general idea that you are conveying in the first stanza, but you move out of that into application to your personal experience. I don’t know why but it feels like a wrongdoing to the initial stanza. It moves from the general idea of the longing to be/do something else yet still doing the very thing you want to go against to something that feels malignant on the original intention. The last 3 stanzas are perfectly fine in their own right, but as I stated in the first comment, it feels like two different poems put together. This could be due to your own ideas of clashing desires, but from a reader’s perspective this wasn’t conveyed in the transition.

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