Decisions

 This week has felt like a Dystopian novel with forces tugging at me shaking me to my core. The complexity of the issue surrounding school shootings, children dying from violent crimes, and gun control stole my time as a teacher every day since the Douglass shooting. Sadly, I left the inner city school systems to leave the world of daily violence behind. 17 years of daily pain for not only the violence but also the injustice of our classist society, left me hollow. No longer bitter or angry, but hollow. Sadly, I had options, and I took them. This past week was like a flashback. Watching and talking about the shooting, experiencing the default nature of the dialogue to reduce complexity to one simple yet polarizing idea, reignited the pain and anger I thought I had left behind.

My students spent the time between the shooting and the 14th deciding what they should do – walk out and received a clinic, which for many would be their first – walk out and face their parents who fear for them – walk out for other reasons  than gun control such as mental health help. The weeks were filled with tough conversations that I had to keep politically neutral as an authority figure in the room. Each time a questioned was asked, I was tormented as to how or if to respond.

On the day of the walk out, I watched my students spend 45 minutes debating their choice. They should not have had to fear their choice, but they did because the adults in their lives were failing them.

I just want to teach in a world where children who did not raise their hand and volunteer to be in that world are treated fairly, treated kindly, and treated with hope.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *