By: Nicholas Chang
When the final bell rings the sun will shine brighter
When the final bell rings the grass will look greener
Summer time is here and school is let out
All the kids will be free like flying bees
So much to do and so much to see
Like a sailor waiting for an ocean breeze
The trees grow faster and the flowers bloom brighter
The sun shines warmer with its glistering rays
As they peak through the tree tops after a summer rain
The ocean waves are calmer and the dolphins jump higher
All is better when summer is here
1- I published a nature/environment poem
2- I chose this environment because it’s my favorite part of year and I have the most fun during summer. I feel this because students can have a break from school and just have the whole day to do whatever they want like sports and hangout with friends.
3- I felt that it was a little difficult for me to write this poem because I haven’t had much experience writing poetry. However, at the same time I am writing about something I enjoy and take passion in which causes it to be a little bit easier.
4-The tone of my poem is excited and gleeful and the mood of my poem is peaceful.
5-The theme of my poem is everyone should have freedom.
6 a-“All the kids will be free like flying bees” ,”Like a sailor sailing through an ocean breeze”
b- Both of my quotes are similes because they are comparing two things with the words like or as.
c-My first quote contributes to the tone because it expresses how kids can’t wait for summer which relates to excitement. This quote also contributes to theme development by saying how the kids will be free which is related to freedom. My second quote contributes to the tone because it also shows signs of waiting by the sailor waiting for an ocean breeze. My second quote contributes to the theme because the sailor is sailing the ocean which shows signs of freedom.
7-Two ways I revised this poem was making the line “All the kids will be free like flying bees”, I originally had this line as “all the kids will flood out like a dandelion being blown” I made this change because the new line is much more concise and I think it sounds better. Another edit I made was adding the last line “All is better when summer is here” I think this line brings the poem all together and adds an actual ending than just have the line “The ocean waves are calmer and the dolphins jump higher”.
8-I am very satisfied with my final draft because I have worked very hard on this poem and it is something I like and care about. I also feel I can relate to the poem and hope other readers can too.