By: Rachel Perkins

When we were five,

We felt beautiful

Beauty was not confined

Or holding like a vice,

When we were 14, we noticed flaws

Rolls,

Stretch Marks,

Cellulite,

Beauty begins to fit us,

Into one specific mold,

Telling us everything we are not,

Not thin enough,

Not smart enough,

Not perfect enough,

When we are sixteen, we are falling

Into its hopeless void,

It’s now ingrained in us,

We are not enough,

Beauty is like broken glass,

Its sharp edges cutting us deep,

We are confused and afraid,

Once we are beautiful, we will be enough

Right?

We are no longer five,

And

 No longer do we feel beautiful

1. The type of poem I published was an “Inspired by” poem.

2. The source of my inspiration was the idea of how when we were younger we were confident in ourselves and how we looked but as we have gotten older our confidence wears away.

3. The tone of my poem is pushing back and confrontational.

4. The theme of my poem is that as you get older you lose yourself to the expectations of society.

5. “Beauty begins to fit us, into one specific mold.” This type of figurative language is personification and imagery. This figurative language contributes to the tone and theme development of this poem because it helps the reader visualize one mold proving the point that there is only one type of beauty and how it’s singular and there can’t be more than one.

6. “When we are sixteen, we are falling into its hopeless void.” This type of figurative language is imagery. This figurative language contributes to the tone and theme development of this poem because it helps the reader visualize themselves falling into a void and the hopeless void symbolizes how to be able to fit the standards of beauty is impossible and it’s not worth it to fight the fight.

Revision #1

7. I added the simile, “Beauty is like broken glass, it’s sharp edges cutting us deep” because I wanted the broken glass to symbolize how our perception of beauty is broken and because it’s broken the “edges” are hurting people who don’t fit the “mold.”

Revision #2

8. I removed the personification, “When we are sixteen it’s hissing at us” because I thought it didn’t sound right.

10. This poem was relatively easy to write because I was able to add a lot of imagery and was able to personify beauty.

11. I am satisfied with my final draft because I think that I was able to put a detailed picture into the reader’s mind and I think that the figurative language brought it more to life.