I glance over the rows of seats
And below the glaring lights
Is a restless crowd.
As my hands fly back
And forth across the keys while the others frantically
Bow back and forth,
The minute movements of shuffling feet
And squeaking strings
And ruffling sheet music,
Are all under the watchful eye
Of the conductor.
In the midst of the melodies,
A stumble occurs.
The crowd doesn’t notice
But the perceptive ears of the musicians
Catch all falters.
Yet still we push forward.
As the show comes to its close,
And the players slow to a stop,
Rising out of the looming silence
Like a phoenix from the ashes,
Is a thunderous applause.
- I published a sensory detail poem.
2b. It was full of many vivid details that I could describe with a chronological order.
- The tone of my poem is nervous.
- Theme of my poem is that even though people make mistakes, if you take them in stride, you can turn them into something wonderful.
- “Rising out of the looming silence, like a phoenix from the ashes, is a thunderous applause” is a simile which i used to contribute to the change in tone towards the end from nervousness to triumph.
“others frantically Bow back and forth” is an example of imagery. The figurative language contribute to the development of nervousness by expressing it in the musicians.
- Revision #1: I changed the “roaring applause” to “thunderous applause” to help communicate the magnitude and extremity of the sound.
Revision #2: I added “in the midst of the melodies” to add both alliteration and to help transition from one point in the story to another.
- It was easy for me to write this poem because i have both a big vocabulary and remember a lot of the details of that concert.
- I’m pretty happy with the final draft because it tells a story with multiple parts, has lots of sensory detail, and fulfills the requirements for my type of poem.