The cold metal doors closed on my leg
Sweat dripping down my face
My leg was trapped
My ears pounding with my heartbeat
I screamed for help, but no one heard
Bystander’s voices faded away as I went into shock
Elbows scraped and burned from falling
My calf squeezed shut in between the doors
My family was running to me faster than the speed of lightning
Pounding their firsts on the doors, to get anyone’s attention
Engines started to roar, it was about to start
Finally the doors freed my legs like a free prisoner
- I published a Sensory poem
- I chose the even of my poem because it happened to me in real life, which made it easy to write about.
- The tone of my poem is negative
- The theme of my poem is stay safe
- One example of figurative language is “my ears pounding with my heartbeat” another example is “my family was running to me faster than the speed of lightning”
- The type of figurative language used above was hyperbole
- This figurative language contributes to the poem because it helps the reader realize this is a very scary and anxious moment
- Two specific ways I revised this poem was by adding the word cold to “the cold metal doors” the explanation for doing that was because adding the word cold helps the reader understand that this is very frightening. Another wash I revised the poem was by adding the word squeezed in “my calf was squeezed shut in between the doors” I did this to help the reader know that I was stuck and there was nothing I could do about it.
- It was easy to write this poem because it was an experience I had in real life so I was familiar with it.
- I am satisfied with my final draft because I put hard work into it and I think it is good.