By Alexis Mendel
Another yelp of thunder
boomed from above
like God scolding us for being
The radio gurgled one song
after the other
making us scream along
to inaudible lyrics
Blared in rhythm
As the rain pitter-pattered on the windows
and danced along our skin
The world was crying
but we were laughing
Fresh rain swam through our bodies
and the wet grass tickled our feet
Water splashed our feet
drenching us with cold water
Cloudy skies hovered above
taking the spotlight away from us
But the thunder howled cheers
And the lightning applauded in joy
A tirade struck the joy
And the lightning licked the sky
Making us squeal,
Running towards shelter
Towels of warmth
Wrapped around us
As an ABBA’s CD
Played their songs on replay
The tirade continued
But our smiles
Were glued onto our
The poem type that I published was my sense poem.
2b. I chose this event for my poem because I feel that this story shows the truth behind the quote, “Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain” (Vivian Greene). This event does give this quote a literal meaning, but it shows that life isn’t about all the needs you have to complete of the wants people would like for you to complete. Life is about making all the mistakes you don’t want to make and breaking all the rules that are meant to be broken, it’s about learning to dance in the rain. It can also be interpreted by it meaning to stat as yound and childish for as long as possible.
3. The tone of my poem is childish and playful.
4. The theme of my poem is to be young and/or childish for as long as possible.
5a. The first type of figurative language quote is “But the thunder howled cheers, and the lightning applauded in joy.” The second one is “But our smiles were glued onto ours shining faces.”
5b. The first type of figurative language I used was personification because I said the thunder howled cheers and the lightning applauded in joy. The second one is a metaphor because I am saying that our smiles were stuck on our faces like glue being stuck to paper. It could also be considered a hyperbole because I am being dramatic at saying that our faces were stuck with smiles on them.
5c. This figurative language contributes to the tone and the theme because “the thunder howled cheers” and “the lightning applauded in joy” gives a childish feeling because it seems like they are imagining it. “But our smiles were glued onto our faces” makes the poem seem playful because they are still giddy even though they had been just yelled at.
6a. Two example of a revision I made was that I changed “yelling” into “scolding” when writing “God was scolding us for being mischievous.” The second one is that I changed “clapped’ into “applauded” for when writing “the lightning applauded in joy.”
6b. I chose to revise those words because they emphasize on the sound that the action that happened. Instead of God just yelling at them, he scolded them for being so childlike. Instead of the lightning just clapping, it applauded the kids, almost as if it erupted in joy.
7. When thinking of this poem, it came to mind very quickly. It wasn’t hard to think of all the sensory details or figurative language because this story means so much to me. The story is just one of the few that my cousins and I share so the meaning to me is very deep and personal.
8. I am very satisfied with my final draft because I have worked hard to keep this memory strong and all the details make it seem like it comes to life whenever I read it. The poem seems like it happened yesterday and the music that was in this poem is all of my childhood.