By Benjamin Doucet

 

It was late at night.

The stars shined bright in the pitch black sky,

the frogs croaked next to the endless river.

My brother and I had an Idea.

We decided to scare my sister and my dad who were trailing behind.

We were heading up a hill that was as steep as a sharp mountain.

If you fell on the hill, you would roll down to the freezing cold water at the .

We were trying to get on the trail of the forest before my sister and dad did.

I’ve been to this forest a million times.

At first I thought I knew where we were.

After analyzing the area, I realized I was clueless to where I was.

We tried to retrace your steps, but we just got lost even more.

There were trees surrounding me on the hill.

As my heart started to beat faster, the trees looked terrifying.

I told my brother that this area didn’t feel right,

and he started to realize that too.

A few lengthy minutes went by.

My heart started to beat as fast as a race car at full speed.

I started to shiver as the wind picked up in the cold.

At this time my dad and sister were probably almost home thinking we were in the house.

We eventually got out of the deep, dark forest at the top of the hill.

We saw a neighborhood.

We both thought it was a different area of our neighborhood.

We started to sprint the direction that we thought are house was.

As we were in the road and I looked down.

I saw a smooth, black road.

The roads in our neighborhood were more rocky and lighter.

That’s when I realized we were in the wrong neighborhood,

and he realized too.

Neither of us had any source of communication on us.

We wandered in the neighborhood and out the neighborhood trying to find our neighborhood.

It has been an hour since we were in the woods.

It I felt like we were going in circles.

I was starting to lose hope.

Deep down, I was terrified but I didn’t want to show that in front of my brother.

We started to pay attention to the street signs on the roads.

One of them looked familiar.

We just kept on following that street.

It started to feel like I took Lidocaine because my legs were so numb after running for an hour.

After following the street for the longest 15 minutes in my life we found our neighborhood.

Adrenaline just rushed through my body and I started to sprint to my house.

I will never forget this moment.

 

1. I published a sensory poem.
2. I chose this event as the basis of my poem because it happened recently and It had a lot of sensory details in the event.
3. The tone is fearful
4. The theme of the poem is don’t give up and keep trying no matter how bad the situation is.
5. 1) “My heart started to beat as fast as a race car at full speed.” This figurative language is a simile. This helps with the tone development because I was scared at that moment and this helped with the theme development because at that moment showed that I had nervous but I had to keep tying.

2) “It started to feel like I took Lidocaine because my legs were so numb after running for an hour.” This is an example of a simile. This contributes to the development of the tone because I was so scared that couldn’t stop running so when I eventually stopped, my legs were numb. This helped develop the theme because it showed not to give up and stop, and to keep on going no matter what.

1. A. Revision #1: I changed “scared” to “terrified.”

1. Explanation: I wanted to emphasize more that I was in fear.
2. Revision #2: I changed “I got excited” to “Adrenaline rushed through my body.”
3. Explanation: I wanted to be more descriptive about that single moment.

1. For the most part, the poem was easy to write because this was a true story that happened to me recently.
2. I am pretty satisfied with my final draft because I edited and revised a lot of the poem to make it better.