By: Jason Taylor
Seeing the towering mountain of steel and hard labor
We walked the year long que to the ride
My stomach tightening as we came closer to the front of the line
The cart finally came a stop
The sweat collected on the handle from the previous riders
Sitting in those semi-warm seats from previous roller coaster goers
Listening to the bright red handles clicking in place
The countdown clock slowly ticking down
The faces of my terrified friends all around me
The concerned voices of my friends exclaiming that we made a mistake
The whistle of the wind in my ears as we approached the climax of the hill
The sudden temperature change at the top of the hill
As we fell at rapid speeds straight for the lake
Screams coming from all around
At the end the rush I felt
Exclaiming to go again and again
Reflection questions
- I decided to publish a sensory detail poem.
- b. I chose this event as the basis for my poem because it happened recently and I remember it vividly.
- The tone of my poem is anxious.
- The theme of my poem is don’t be afraid to face your fears.
- One example of figurative language in my poem is “towering mountain of steel and hard labor” The type of figurative language is metaphor. This figurative language contributes to the tone and theme development because it refers to the roller coaster as a mountain which gives an anxious feel. Another example of figurative language in my poem is “Walked the year long Que.” The type of figurative language is metaphor. This figurative language contributes to the tone and theme development because it tells the reader that I am not looking forward to the ride because it is referred to as taking a year long.
- One way I revised my poem is I changed fast to rapid. I made this change because fast is a pretty basic word so I used better vocabulary. Another way I revised my poem is I changed large hill to towering mountain. I made this revision because it better adds to the tone of the poem.
- It was pretty easy to write this poem, because it happened recently and I knew what I was going to write before I started.
- I am very satisfied with my draft, since this was my best poem I wrote and I feel like I captured the tone well.