Sugar Rush

By: Emily Marohn


I walked into the kitchen

And my stomach rumbled.

The aroma of sweet, vanilla batter

Filled my lungs.

As I opened the oven,

The heat slapped me in the face,

And I knew the cupcakes

Were ready.

The scent of of glowing, radiant cupcakes

Overwhelmed me.

Sweet like honey.

The sugary dessert

I have baked,

Was very appetizing.

At that point,

I knew my first cupcakes

Were a success.




1. The type of poem that I published is a sensory detail poem.

2. I chose this event as the basis of my poem because ever since I baked these cupcakes and how much success I had off of them, I have loved baking since.

3. The tone of my poem is nostalgic.

4. The theme of my poem is success tastes sweet.

5. An example of personification is “The heat slapped me in the face,” and this figurative language contributes to the tone and theme developement because it the start of when I knew my cupcakes were ready and how I will always remember this. An example of a simile is “Sweet like honey.” And this figurative language contributes to the tone and theme developement because I figured out how the cupcakes taste and that I enjoy them, and that it’s a strong memory in my mind how sweet and delicious they are.

6. A specific way I revised this poem is I changed “smell” to “aroma” in one of the first lines in the poem. I did this because “smell” seemed very casual and I felt like I needed a bigger, more intriguing word. I also revised this poem by changing “flew in my face” to “slapped me in the face” to add more figurative language and sensory details to my poem.

7. This poem was pretty easy to write because it’s a strong memory in my mind to recall so I could write this poem in detail.

8. For satisfication, I am really satisfied with this poem. I feel like I hit every point of my story, giving detail, senses, and figurative language to make the reader actually want to read my story and enjoy it, as I do.

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