By:Jag Aceron

An elevator full of people,

but all blurred out in my eyes.

The only ones I see are my family.

A ding and the shuffle of feet.

Loud gasps go around as I follow my parents out

Hands glued together.

In my five year old eyes,

I see an entire city below me.

Fear leaks into my mind but is swept away by a tsunami of curiosity.

Waddling on short legs over to my brothers

I look down at the glass floor below me

Seemingly invisible, as if I was floating in air.

In my eyes of wonder I see..

I see shimmering buildings below smiling at me

I see the clouds sleeplessly drifting

And I see my family,

They too staring in the eyes of wonder.

1.I published my sense poem.

2.I chose this event because it was the first time seeing something that was so out of the ordinary for me.

3.Astonished

4.There is always something bigger and better to see.

5.”I see shimmering buildings below smiling at me” This is personification and it adds a sense of fiction and unrealnes to the tone.

“as if I was floating in mid air” This is a simile and also adds to the tone by making it seem like I am doing thed impossible.

6.I changed “my eyes seeing only my family” to “all blurred out in my eyes” the words blurrd puts more emphasis on my not paying attnetion to them.

I also changed “walking over to my brothers” to waddling over” because it supports that this is from the perspective of a five year old.

7.It was fairly difficult  to write because it took me time to find the write wordings.

8.Im very satisfied with my peom because it seems smooth and has lots of different hidden meanings.