Hello, I’m a dog and here is a little poem (I tried)

I’m a dog with a blog

That looks like a log

That finds frogs in the fog

I never meet a hog that can jog

My owners say I look like a rog (whatever that is)

I prefer a log

I’m a dog with a blog

It has come to the end of March, the end of the slice of life challenge. I will probably blog more, but life as a dog is filled with ups and downs. You humans think I’m spoiled well look at me, crate for hours while you party or go out and enjoy something. You know what though, life is good for me and this last blog will be very exciting. In a dog’s point of view, the world is big but not that big. Squirrels, walks, the crate, and other thing are big things in my life. I have a movie for you and since I’m a dog I don’t see any movies but this movie I liked ( because it has/had a golden retriever in it ), it is good and it might make you cry. It is…….A Dog’s Purpose. I think it is good and it is from a dog’s point of view, like my blog. So watch it if you want or don’t it’s just a recommendation, and if you’ve seen it good for you, and maybe, just maybe you’ll see it again. Well, I feel like I’m going to relax and enjoy the rest of 2018’s March. Well…. Oh my gosh is that a squirrel!?

Life as a dog.

Ugg! You humans and your technology, wasting precious time for walks and outdoors. Don’t get me wrong a little technology here and there is fine, and some music to let your imagination go wild is fine in all, but you humans are on you little pieces of technology non-stop. Literally, you are watching someone do something with something you can make and the things you need to make the thing are 10-20 feet away from you. Sometimes it’s just so hard to understand you humans, and what you do. Now the only thing I’m worried about is those little squirrels getting your human technology to defeat dogs and rule the world. I think I might have a big imagination, but nothing is impossible.

When I was a puppy I had three meals a day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Life was good until one day my owners forgot to feed me lunch and since that day I’ve never had lunch. I pretty sure the vet told them to cut me off because when I was little I was a whopping 93 pounds. I know and I recently went to the vet and I’m now 61.8 pounds. I had 3 cups when I was little, 1 cup for each day. After lunch was stolen from me I had 1 and a half cups of food for breakfast and dinner. Then I was cut to one cup per meal. After my visit, the vet said that I can have a little over a cup because I am about 4-3 pounds under, better start eating that grass before the snow ( if there is any coming). I wonder if I’ll get 1 and a half cups of food now.

The car takes you there and makes you miserable the whole ride, like throwing up/barfing. If you don’t know ( which you don’t and if you do that will be very creepy or you have read this before ) cars suck (for me). In a dog’s perspective ( well for me ) I don’t see the point for cars, you humans have legs you can walk. Don’t get me wrong walking is great and all but a 3-hour walk is tiring, so that’s what a car or bike is for. Though cars make me very sick they have a use, and I hate to say it but overall they are fine.

I love sports and my breed (a Golden Retriever) is a sport/hunting dog. I don’t play many sports, one I’m a dog and also I’m very limited to the sports me and my owners play. I can’t play baseball, tennis, lacrosse and other sports that you have to use hands for. I can play football and frisbee but I won’t give the ball or frisbee back, or throw it back. I can play soccer, defense of course and soccer is very fun, though we can only play keep away because I can’t dribble and score. I also love to run around the perimeter of my backyard like I am running around a track, so I guess I do track, somewhat. I also play fetch which I realize that it’s not a sport but if it is, was, or will be, but I’m just putting it out there just in case. 

Here is me ready to play.

Don’t you love getting your picture taken? Well, I think who really cares about my picture, I’m just one dog out of millions maybe billions. To tell you the truth I was so wrong, so 2017 barkfest me and my owners saw my picture framed and the photographer said it was one of his best. I’ll take the compliment but I’m not sure that was his best photo or one of his best. Now you probably have seen my photo and on my blog, I have about 9 photos (before I typed this blog ) and they look fine, but that is 11 out of thousands. I have lots of photos like some in the park, some in my house, some in the town center, and some while I’m sleeping ( which is creepy ). I have pictures while I’m on vacation, at the vet, in other places. Ok, so I have I think ten thousand pictures of me, that is a lot. Plus I also have videos of me too. Now I actually like to have my picture with other dogs because I like how they would get attention as well and I get to be with another dog and a picture lasts forever.

Here is one of my many photos.

Yes, I know that it’s not Christmas or December but I can tell you about my reindeer costume. Ok so in 2017 ( because I have no idea what day or year you are reading this) my owners went to PetSmart to get me presents and they found this costume for $22, now the big question is how do I know how much it is, well I hear them talk about it, so. Anyway, they said that was 50% off so it was only $11, and yeah I did the math reader. So they bought it and decided to get it without my permission and just decided to put it on when they got home.  It is warm and soft I can tell you that it also was comfy, but I have fur you know. Ok so when I went on walks I had to wear it, in public, but it was so cold barley anyone was out. The costume was nice when it was cold, but there are five bells on the costume that jingle all the way. So when I want to counter surf I get caught before I even do it. There are antlers on the costume and they are attached to a hood. You know what, I think that I will have to wear it again. Nooo!

Here is the costume. I think that I pulled it off.

So have you ever seen the movies when the dog gets the newspaper for the owner, or when the dog tears up the newspaper? Well, I can tell you one thing, I’ve torn up newspapers before. So reader lets ’s take a trip down memory lane. During my young age like when I was a puppy, my owners didn’t get me a crate because they wanted to wait till I got bigger, so I slept in a baby crib, yes a baby crib. Ok, to be fair I was only in there for less than my first two months then I moved to my crate. So then one day I escaped as a puppy then ate/teared up old newspaper, my owners weren’t that made because the newspapers that I tore up were old, and also realized that it was time for me to get a crate. If you want to read about my crate I have a blog about that ( it is one of my older posts ). Also when I have to go out and my owner is reading the newspaper I shove the newspaper out of the way and whine in his face. I think when I walk up to him he ignores me until I wine or bark which is fine. I hope. So newspapers are a fine snack but there are better snacks, though paper is filling and a little chewy. Maybe I’ll try to get the newspaper for my owner like the movies, probably not though because it is too far.

So have you ever felt that feeling when you are just so bored, well that happens sometimes to me, and when I’m in the backyard and board I do 5 things. I go up the three stairs on the patio to be let inside, I sunbathe ( only when I can find a good spot in the sun or it’s a nice day with the sun ), I eat grass, I bark and wait for my owners to come out and play, or I dig a hole. Digging is a thing that occupies me and it is fun to do, no I don’t bury anything, and no my owners don’t fill up my holes. I think I have about 4-6 holes in the backyard and I’m pretty proud of them. Those holes took some very devoted front paws work. Also when me and my owners play soccer with me the holes slow the ball and I can get it faster. I feel like my owners are like we need to fill up those holes so no one gets a twisted ankle, but I have no idea what the problem is.

Me and my lovely 5 holes I made.