TERRARIA NOOB BUT EXADURATED

I know The Silly Sancturary doesn’t post anymore but in real life he made story’s of people who are bad at games. At first I thought it was insulting but his stories are super exadurated. Like how they have so little skill that it doesn’t even mater any more. So I decided to make my own. It is going to be a terraria noob because I play that game way to much.

THE TERRARIA NOOB

 It is so dumb it is unofficial

By: Henry

 

Friday, Feburary 13, 2017

At school people are talking about this game Terraria. They say it is a new Minecraft. I spend 104% of my time in my moms basement so I downloaded the game on my computer. I log in and am greeted with the start menu. I see something I’ve never seen before. It read single player, multiplayer, achievements, controls, and quit. I try to sound out the letters but I couldn’t figure it out. I decided to click the first one and see what it did. It took me to a screen that told me to create a character. I clicked the first button which took me to a color changing bar. Every time I moved the bar the hair on my character changed. I set it to green. I did that for the rest of the settings. I ended up with an entirely green character. I clicked the next button like normal and my character turned into a girl. I thought girls are descusting. Everyone else in my school claimes they stoped thinking girls were gross in 3rd grade. But I still think that. I spammed the button over and over again until I noticed it was going between boy and girl. I made it stop at boy and sighed of relief. I moved onto the next option. It just said soft core. I don’t like being called soft because pillows are soft and it reminds me of the time I hurt my head on a pillow and had to see a doctor. I wanted to get it to easy core so I clicked it. It moved on to medium core. I screamed in terror. Medium is way above my skill level. I clicked the button almost instantly. It went to hard core. That sounded more like it. I clicked the button below it and it made my character change entirely. I decided it looked okay and pressed create. I saw my character on the screen and selected him. It took me to an identical screen that asked me to create a world. I could select crimson or corruption and I chose crimson because it won an enie menie miney moe. It then let me select normal or expert. I selected normal because I felt like it. It then started to load the world.

END OF PART ONE

I am going to make this a multi part sieries. But remember, use code lazerbeam in the Fortnite item shop! (My word count was 493 so I decided to add this to get to 500)

MERRY CHRISTMAS(((((((:

Today is Christmas at 9:47 PM. It was an exciting day. First, I woke up, my parents were asleep. On Christmas they sleep until one so we have to play Fortnite or something while we wait for them. I played Terraria, I don’t know if I told you this in a previous post but sometime in late winter I defeated the Moon Lord, (The final boss) in my brothers world. I got no loot. So this time I got loot. And using the duplication glitch I just learned by Derpus’ knowledge, I made 40 of his spawners. I finally got the Meowmere. So yeah, Terraria stuff over, mom woke up and we went downstairs. I look under the tree and throw a fit. “Mom! I wanted the presents to fill into the office like last year.” I didn’t really scream like that but that year that it happened was the best christmas literately ever. I went to my stockings like every year and opened the first gift. It was a Disney haunted mansion thing. I then proceeded to get cookies, a chocolate Santa, Vbucks, and yeah, a calculator.

Every year we eat breakfast after stockings and then go to Christmas tree presents. But this year we proceeded to the tree presents. I got a Fortnite book and shirt, books, an expansion to exploding kittens, more Vbucks (I now have $100 I could spend on Vbucks, my grandma gave 75%. But the highlight of the Christmas presents, a new spicy iPad. I even played a round of Fortnite on it! I died instantly because the screen is 5 times bigger than a phone. I cant take a picture of it because I am using it to type this post. Then me and my brother played exploding kittens since I have the second expansion. (I also have the first from 2 years ago so the deck is almost twice as big as it was originally. We then proceeded to my uncles house. We go to his house because his birthday is on Christmas. My siblings were spending most of their time with our cousin’s son. (I don’t know what that is called, nefew in law or second cousin) After we ate dinner, we played my brother’s new game Telestrations. I then tried to get my cousin’s 2 year old son into Fortnite. I had to take over and die to a dumb bot with full shield. In 8th place. At least he got sniped. An hour of talking later we had to pack up and go. We left to our house and I am now here. But remember, there is no downside to _____!

Blogs are hard.

I had a really good idea. I could make a cool challenge based of the bushes of fortnite.

(This picture is very old)

I failed. My last post was in October and now it’s december. Or more accurately, my last post was in season 6 and now it’s season 7. But I will post more. Now for your news briefing: I only play fortnite on weekends because I am in 7th grade. Fe4RLess has become my favorite YouTuber. I am also currently trying to re download Terraria. (You would know what that is if you read my blog 10 months ago) But there is one more thing I have to say. Subscribe to PewDiePie. He needs your help. PewDiePie is at war with T-Sieries and needs your help. This is the link to his Chanel. (PewDiePie) Memes aside. There is no upside to nobody reading your blog because you didn’t have time to post until winter break!

THE SLICE OF BUSH CHALLENGE

I was thinking about what I should
post today and I wanted to make a challenge. Not like the slice of life or slice of poetry, how about the slice of bush challenge! As with the slice of life challenge, there will be a picture I post at the bottom of it.

I decided to make the picture just a giant bush. Like this:

I will also add something to it everyday so after 31 days there will be so many bushes it will destroy the universe. I will do it until November 14th. The challenge will be everyday I will write a description of my day. So I have to write more than 187 words to write this:

Today I woke up. I couldn’t play Fortnite like I usually do in the morning because my parents REALY want me to practice piano more so I read a book like a smart kid. Around 9 I had to go to my little sisters birthday party at pump it up. I got in the car and we started driving. My brother was screaming the Ali-A intro at me so I started to feel sick. He stopped eventually at least.

We parked in front of Pump It Up we brought the cake inside. Actually, it was like 50 cupcakes. My sister invited everyone in her Girl Scouts, dance, kindergarden, and first grade so if we brought a cake each peace would be so small that they would half to spilt atoms into quarters. There where already about 15 kids in there so it was pretty packed. I just hung out with my brother. I was looking down until I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was my mom. She introduced me someone else my age. (He was in eighth grade but it’s only a year away) We sat on a bench to talk about ‘I just met someone now I half to ask him/her thousands of questions’ stuff. Eventually it was  10:30 and everyone got there. There where an  estimate of 30 kids in there. (28 to be exact) We watched a safety video (the rules are always the same) and we got in the main part. It was not very 7th gradey so we downloaded Drive ahead and played it until we went to room B. There was this area behind a bounce castle with an entire parkour course of boxes and unused items with about 10 balls and balloons. Afterwards we went on to room C. It was the pizza room. We had pizza and cupcakes and a piñata. I only had 3 pieces of candy because I gave most of it to the candy crazy first graders that filled their entire bag. That was where everyone left including us. We drove home and pulled out all of my sisters presents. At birthday party’s each kid gets a present. (It always works like that) So when I turned 10 I had 2 presents from my friends. (An amazon gift card for V-BUCKS!!!!!) My sisiter got 30. While she was opening her 692.916 X 10^1000th present, my friend came over. We played Fortnite and played games outside. At 7 he left and now I’m here. So remember to smash that like button, subscribe, and turn on notifications for more videos! Peace!

HELLO.

Long time, no see! My blog was being as doo doo as physically possible so I wasn’t able to post. Now everyone who used to be a daily viewer is now well, not. So this post is absolutely everything that happened since last post. Wow, I WAS TOLD TO SEARCH BETWEEN A ROCK, DINOSAURS, AND A COOKIE, AND THIS HAPPENS. Wow, OMG! I have found a common glitch that happens all the time! I will make sure that doesn’t happen, no more cringe posts in season 2 of the Blog of all blogs! I think this is the perfect time for a second season! In this season I will try to have 300+ words instead of 100+ for more content. Also, I will not post fortnite wins. Except for this,

And this,

and all of these,

Ok. Now I’ll stop! But I’m only halfway to 300+ so I’m going to need to write more of this essay. Now I will talk about Terraria… Um… RIP Terraria I guess, my laptop can’t handle Terraria. (Or fortnite, that’s why I’m a mobile)

I also gave up on the Terrarian. (I am a very good author) also RIP DanTDM. I watched all his videos minus Minecraft and Roblox. I’m also in 7th grade now. (TechEd was made by Ali-A (It is terrible)) Another thing I want to mention is, Mrs. Hastletine is not teaching 6th grade this year so I am the last LCPS blogger standing. I also want to change the, THeRe aid NO dOWNsIdE To VidEo GAMeS!!.!?!.?! I want to make it funny like, Remember to smash that like button, subscribe, and turn on notifications for more videos. Peace! Because it’s a blog. So i guess remember to smash that like button, subscribe, and turn on notifications for more videos. Peace! Also, you don’t know this, but I made a post that is scheduled for the year 10000. So if you make a time machine, be sure to check it out! (I wanted 300+ words)

I WAS TOLD TO SEARCH BETWEEN AN OASIS, DINOSAURS, A ROCK ARCHWAY, THEN THIS HAPPENS

Finally! Week 2 of season 5! I completed week 1’s challenges in the first few hours so I am glad I can do more. (This is about fortnite by the way) I decided to try “search between an oasis, dinosaurs, and a rock archway. I already knew where those were so I thought I could get a free tier. I dropped there. First I got killed because I forgot to grab a gun, the next round I got the gun and killed 2 drifts with my scoped AR and started searching. I couldn’t find it anywhere! I got sniped while standing on a rock thinking. But the third round is when the interesting stuff happens I get into a round and take a picture of the map. I edited it to show me exactly where it would be.

I then got back to fortnite. I was zooming over the island in the battle bus. I tried to jump off but it didn’t work. “Ok, I’ll just jump off with all the AFK people. Some reason I didn’t go off. But then I went past the island. I got a screen recording of it.

But remember, there is no downside to video games!

THE MEGA POST

########(AT)LCPS.ORG RUINED EVERYTHINGI have not been posting for a while and now the wait is over. I am pre writing this and I don’t know when it is going to come out to the public.The only reason I can write this is because I write all my posts on a google doc. (I think that is how you say google docs when it is not plural) But I can explain the wait. If you are reading this then the blog is back to normal but I will tell an altered fairy tale about what happened.

 

Once upon a time there was a super ugly princess named Blarp. She had no purpose to the story and is the only reason this is a fairy tale. Then on the other universe (The one we live in) there was a school called ########## Middle School at that school, everyone had an email so they could do stuff like google classroom

 

But the staff thought that ######@locker.lcps.org was too long so they changed it to ######@lcps.org. But then it messed up the blogging system. Now I can only stare at my blog.

 

AND THEY ALL LIVED MISERABLY EVER AFTER THE END

 

But that means if you comment 100 times you won’t be mentioned once on the commenters page and I won’t be able to read it easily. I can’t post. I can’t edit comments so if some fat dude in his mom’s basement comments: I think you are a _BAD_WORD_, I won’t be able to edit that and make it say: I think you are a beautiful human being. But after this, I can continue, these are the future blog posts:

 

Great Wolf Lodge

Lake Anna

Piano Recital

Math SOL

The Phone Story

The Terrarian (Be excited)

 

And somewhere in there will be post number 100! But remember, there is no downside to video games.

————————————————————

THE THIRD TORNADO POST ON MY BLOG

There was not a tornado when I was at great wolf lodge. There was just a water slide called the tornado and a child abuse story. (See dad, there would be consequences)

 

Everyone unpacked. I grabbed my 314159265358979th tissue and made the loudest honking sound I ever heard. After that we chilled in the hotel room. I had to stay in the corner because my family thought I had contagious cancer. But after a while I was free to go to the water park. Thankfully if your surrounded by water your nose didn’t murder anymore, I did everything at the water park except the tornado. I was thinking about it until I heard a menacing scream. I didn’t go on it. But at the end of the day my dad said no you MUST go on it. I said no, you can go on it yourself but dad had other plans. After a long argument about how you NEED to have four people on it. (Even though the next day I heard you only needed ONE person)

 

I went on the ride the next day. The we did the Maji quest (Not Maui quest, autocorrect) then we went home. But remember, there is no downside to video games!

————————————————————

THE PHONE STORY

I decided to skip the Lake Anna, Piano Recital, and the Math SOL posts because I didn’t think they where interesting enough. The next thing is the phone story so this is it.

So, for my birthday I got my dad’s iPhone 6. I will call it potato puchies. I got some games and started playing them. But soon the unthinkable happened. I was in the bathroom and I forgot to put it in my room so I put it on my sink. But then I splashed some water on it by accident and it started acting weird. It later turned off without turning on again. I told my dad about it and attempted to fix it. He couldn’t. We then went to great wolf lodge. When we came back we took it to the Verizon store. The manager said he couldn’t fix it and we had to get the new iPhone 8. I got it because mom wants me to have a phone for safety reasons because my gizmo gadget was a failure.

 

So now I have the iPhone 8. But remember, there is no downside to video games!

————————————————————

THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL

There is no Terrarian today. But I am not going to post until I can get it out so I can feel motivated to finish. The reason is I am writing two other books in addition to The Terrarian, Endless and The Imposter. A war then alien story.

 

(I haven’t gotten The Imposter cover yet)

 

But now for the bulk of the post, the last day of school:

 

I woke up at like 6:00. I got ready to school and played on my iPad. I went to school just like normal.

————————————————————

I’M GOING TO MY GRANDPARENTS COTTAGE

This is the next update post. I’m going to start now:

 

9:55

I just got on the road. I checked the map on my phone and it said we would get there at 3:05 (5 hours and 13 mins)

 

11:35

We just finished an “unexpected” movie

 

At around 10:00 we crossed the border to Maryland and Pennsylvania at 11:00. We are going to New York.

 

12:56

 

I played about an hour of this 2017 fidget spinner game. It is addicting. I don’t have a horrid stuffy nose like last time. My phone says we will get there at 3:08 meaning it went up by 3 minutes. This has nothing to do with the car ride but I need to fit this in somewhere. I am actually getting better at Fortnite! I get 2-5 kills and make it into the endgame where there is a huge build off! (I will destroy the person that killed me at 3rd place and if I shot him once he would die, ONCE)

 

1:24

 

I did nothing since I last posted. Nothing. The movie is still on because it goes on forever just my parents paused it. The first second of the second time it played.

 

3:03

We are almost there, there is only five minutes left!

 

I forgot to say anything when we got there. But remember, there is no downside to video games!

————————————————————

I DID NOT GET ENOUGH VOTES

Since nobody said anything I am going to make the story category anyway, but that is not what this post is about. It is about an old story.

 

THE FAT PERSON PART III EPISODE II

 

PREVIOUSLY ON THE FAT PERSON

 

He ran towards NASA

But he got on a crane

Because he almost had no legs

But he made it to NASA

They were going to launch to Mars

Once the fat person got on he saw a sight

The fat person from the past getting on

 

AND NOW

 

The fat person snuck in the door

The back door

He saw a massive ladder

It lead to the cockpit

The fat person pressed a huge green button

The rocket blasted off into space

He knew the earth was about to explode

It did

The fat person knew he had to save the world

But that was for episode III

He traveled to space Mexico to drop the people off

Because he wanted to honor tacos

Then he took the rocket to the shack

He parked the rocket on a random helicopter pad

And he got off

He had a 4¢ fishbowl on his head

So he was fine

He got out his handy dandy laser gun ($1.99)

And knocked down the door

[Dr. Dienfosneideidmeodmdoyouknowdewae emerged]

[He pulled out a legendary scar with 837403748 ammo]

The fat guy pulled out a plastic diamond sword

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

But remember, there is no downside to video games!

————————————————————

A SWEET OLD VICTORY ROYALE!!!!!!!!!!

“FINALLY I WON THE GAME!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

 

I could not believe it! Also, I think I am the only person that can say my first win was a solo one on mobile instead of a squad one on Xbox/computer. But my question is, Where was the last guy? I was standing in my fort waiting for the guy to come out and play and the victory showed up in my face. (I got 3 kills so I still worked hard for that win) I have a theory though: he had a pistol and was hiding in a bush the entire game. He was directly in front of my superduperomgajohnwickwouldbeimpressed  fort (A two story sniper tower on top of a house in salty springs) and the storm was moving in. He thought I had a scar with 828403938228394927294830.82884 decillion ammo so he decided to stay in the bush. The storm came in and he used some bandages and died. Lesson learned: Don’t be a bushy boi, be a ninja boi.

 

Even though I was searching with my thermal so I would have seen him in the bush. But remember, there is no downside to video games! Especially if you get a Victory Royale!

I’M GOING TO GREAT WOLF LODGE

2:48 PM
I am stopping the timeline because I am going to crest wolf lodge. We just got in the car and I am going to write this post in updates. Sorry I didn’t tell you. I am watching Star Wars VI. I feel sick so I am going to end this part here.

4:13 PM
I am so bored. I have had nothing to do and I have ANOTHER stuffy nose. FUN FACT: 1/8th of my ENTIRE LIFE I have had a stuffy nose. I honestly am going to grow up and spend my whole life finding a cure to stuffy noses. I am surrounded by chips because my siblings treat me like a trash can.

5:09 PM
I think that stuffy noses are the reason of WWI and WWII. We are only half way there and the terrain looks exactly the same as it did at 4:13. I swear, all I can do right now is eat or sleep. I want to teleport strait to the room and cut off my nose and glue on a better one. Then I will go down every water slide, and do every magic quest instead of sitting in a sickening car. See you at around 6 o’clock.

5:47 PM
I saw Great Wolf Lodge out my window and we still have half an hour! Why couldn’t they just build a road over there to save half an hour! At least the terrain changed. And I just saw it again! I guess I will see you… wait we’re here? Already? Oh whell, I’m here, and there is no downside to video games!

ZAVA ZONE

PREVIOUSLY ON THE TIMELINE…

 

I then had to go to [Friend from the 3rd grade book post]’s house for a birthday party.

 

AND NOW…

 

We are now on the second event on the timeline.

 

|- Unknown: The Big Bang

|

|

|- Monday: TORNADO

|

|- Friday: Notebook Injury

|

|- FRIDAY: ZAVA ZONE

|

|- Saturday: Lake Anna

|

|- Sunday: Piano Recital

|

|

|- Doomsday: The End of The World

 

So now we are at the Zavazone post. They are both on friday So they come right after another. So let’s get into the post:

 

I walked to (I am going to refer to my friend as Mr. Fortnite for the post) Mr. Fortnite’s house. I crouched behind the bushes near his house so I can surprise him. One minute later Mr. Fortnite walked to his house he hopped up to the front door without noticing me until I snickered. He noticed and stood there for a minute. I went inside to play Fortnite until the pizza came. I ate the pizza and went to Zava Zone. We walked inside and started with something called the challenge. It is where you do parkour across the ceiling. But don’t worry, if you fall they will find you later and clean up the blood. (Just kidding, they put you in strict safety gear) I decided to rank the challenges with this grading scale. Trival, Easy, Medium, Hard, Very Hard, and Impoppable.

That was a reference to Bloons Monkey City. CURRENT STANDINGS:

 

Derpus (Lvl 14)

Me (Lvl 13)

Corney (Lvl 7)

That was the last time I checked.

 

But now for the ratings map:

 

[Sorry, I could not find ANYTHING on safari, (Finding what I want on safari: Impoppable)]

 

But after that we did absolutely everything else. Sorry if this was not long but remember, there is no downside to video games!

THE WHAT POST

Sorry, I tried to post about it earlier but the keyboard on my iPad broke so I am writing this on my iPhone. (iOS forever) And also, caution: if you are allergic to ridiculously strange injuries, then I recommend you skip this post.

 

I was in my English class. I was being dumb and chewing on my notebook. (But I am not naturally dumb: 3.1415926535) My English teacher Mrs. Haseltine was taking attendance. (Your Story Matters) When she called on Bart (Bart) something Unidentified happened. My lip started hurting badly. I was smart enough to hold my notebook in

place while I was oofing. (Roblox death sound reference, I really was just owing) At first Mrs. Haseltine thought I was being disruptive but then she realized I was in pain and sent me to the nurse. 5th shoutout to my escorts, Derpus and Corney (Too many links to blogs and I already gave their blog a link about 5 times) Mrs. Haseltine gave us a pass to go on the school elevator. (I have no idea why but I am not complaining) We were walking to the nurse when first lunch spilled out. Thankfully [Someone who might not want their name in public] was the only person that saw before I hid my notebook. I got into the nurses office and we explained to the nurse what happened. She thought it was the craziest thing she saw in her life. And I don’t blame her, you expect her to see someone walk in that turned into a McDonald’s french fry? I will now show a picture.

 

*//ERROR~909<Image is disturbing*///

 

Eventually Corney and Derpus had to go to Lunch and I waited for 9.7 billion hours. Eventually, my mom came to pick me up. She drove me to the emergency room with this question in her mind. How is she supposed to pick up my brother and his friend for their ‘play date’ when she was in the emergency room. My suggestion was that she should abandon me so when I am done I can play Monkey City. {Current standings:

First place: Derpus (Lvl 12)

Second place Me (Lvl 11)

Third place Corney (Lvl 5)

Inform me if I am wrong}

We decided that mom should stay because we would have enough time left. The doctors came in. First, they cut off my notebook (The spine was still stuck to my face), then, they numbed me, third, they pulled the spine out. I was good to go. Mom signed out or whatever grown ups do while I heard the wayfair ad. We left the hospital and went home. I then had to go to [Friend from the 3rd grade book post]’s house for a birthday party. And that will be the next post! But remember, the next few posts will be in a timeline.

 

|- Unknown: The Big Bang

|

|

|- Monday: TORNADO

|

|- FRIDAY: NOTEBOOK INJURY

|

|- Friday: Zava Zone

|

|- Saturday: Lake Anna

|

|- Sunday: Piano Recital

|

|

|- Doomsday: The End of The World

 

But remember, there is no downside to video games!