Month: April 2018

PREVIOUSLY ON THE FAT PERSON AND THE PERSON

“Wait sir…” Said the guard
“What” asked the other guard
“He was the kid who wrote The Blog of All Blogs
the blog we worship” responded the guard
There was a stunned silence

AND NOW

The entire prison shook
There was mayhem
But the fat person still needed to find the person
He saw him running in circles
There was an announcement
It said the whole galaxy was going to explode
The person grabbed the fat person
And got in the only escape pod
They saw the Milky Way galaxy explode
They were the only life forms left in the universe
They saw a nearby galaxy
It was a false alarm
It was the other side of the universe
They saw the universe leave behind them
Just then the fat person had a plan
“Hey, let’s get a time machine for no reason” Said the fat person
“Yeah, we don’t have enough sci-fi yet” responded the person
“But how will we find the time machine” Said the person
“Maybe that random loop hole in the middle of space” Said the fat person
“Okay” Said the person
So they went through the loophole
And went back to the Milky Way
They entered earth
They went to Louisiana for some reason
And they saw a truck being chased by the police

TO BE CONTINUED

But remember, there is no downside to video games!

The first thing I want to talk about is that I won’t put beautiful pictures at the top of every post. It takes too long and WHO NEEDS PICTURES I BURNED ALL MY PICTURES AND I’M STILL ALIVE! Now let’s move to the actual blog post.

I have important business I need to talk to you about. If you remember, there was the amazing book called THE TERRARIAN! And no, I STILL am not going to post the next part. I mean, I will eventually but not now. But here is a 2.5th post.

THE TERRARIAN

A spectacular story
It delivers you glory
It is a hobby
I will randomly say dobby

I’m only on page twenty seven
It is equivalent to heaven
I need to end this
I think my story is an idea abiss

There, I hope you thought it was at least half decent. And there is no downside to video games!

Yes, if you are reading this you may think I am an idiot because it is not may yet and my blog is back to normal. But that is not the case. I know I might be dumb but I just decided that if I change my blog it should only be for a day. So since it is the 19th, it is back to the beautiful style we all know and love. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s do some poetry!

 

A SMALL BIT OF A REVERSAL POEM I DESIGNED MYSELF

 

I am a depressed sock

I do not believe

I know de wae

Me being the best blogger

Is a lie

I dance in bathtubs

In 30 years I will tell my children that

I have my priorities straight because

I am a happy turtle…

(I will continue this later)

 

But all of this is true, UNLESS WE REVERSE IT

 

But remember, there is A downside to video games!

 

Also that is true if we dont reverse it so please reverse it.

 

But if you do reverse it then there is NO downside to video games!

If anyone reading this blog plays Fortnite Or has ears, you will probably know why I am dedicating this blog to Tilted Towers (It is so important it needs to be capitalised) So hit that sad piano music and let’s start the funeral!

*Happy pop music plays*

Oh well, this is okay, I guess I will just fire my local musician anyway. (You heard that, right mr. Fjdndisnfosnehdncoswwnfjdkddoritosaregood) But now I will have to write a poem about Tilted. Wait no I can’t honor Tilted that way! We need to make a memorial! I WILL CHANGE MY BLOG THEME UNTIL MAY! And I will actually do that. But now I need to write a nice poem.

THE NICE POEM

This free verse poem is nice
It is made for Tilted
[I hope the comment missed Tilted because I didn’t check Fortnite today and I probably won’t have time until friday] (You guys know my made up poetry rule by now)
But now we need to make this short poem nice
Let’s randomly add some spice
That coincidently rhymed even though this is a free verse poem
Flowers and princesses and unicorns are nice
FIRE, FIRE IS NICE
SO IS SKELETONS
AND PRISON
YES, LOTS OF PRISON
AND DEPRESSION
PAIN
DEPRESSION
DEATH

Okay, I need to end this poem quick so remember, there is no downside to video games!

 

FIRE

OFFENSIVE ALERT! I have recently been told that the fat person poems are offensive. So I will offend you no longer! I will have a fake survey with the fat person. Here we go!

Henry: Hello sir we are going to ask you some questions.
The fat person: NO I NEED THE TACO!!!
Henry: No, but can you step on this scale
CRASH (The fat person breaks the scale)
Henry: Okay… Uh, can you predict the weight of this man?
Random Scientist: If my calculations are correct, he weighs more than 90000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 trillion pounds.
Henry: You see everyone? I only view fat people as people that have more mass than saturn. (Not Jupiter, in my logic that is where you straight up die)

That was a small clip of a potential blog post! (Be very excited) So now time for the actual post!

PREVIOUSLY ON THE PERSON AND THE FAT PERSON

The police crashed through the window
“Put your hands up!” They shouted
The fat person knew this was just part of the plan

AND NOW

Space prison was massive
It had nearly endless cells
The fat person (That is not offending anyone) knew his mission
He had to rescue the person
“Follow me to the execution center” ordered the guard
“I just want a taco.” The fat person lied
He had to go to normal space prison
To rescue the person
“Nope, you broke the number one rule” yelled the officer
“I’ll give you half a taaacooo” bribed the fat person
“Okay I will take you to the nicest cell
The fat person went to his cell he was one hundred million cells away
He had to dig through to the cell
He then remembered he was as wide as forty football fields
So he had to make another plan
He ran strait at the wall
The fat person broke through
“OMG I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN” Said a person who spent too long in prison
The fat person ran through the next wall quick
He discovered a random computer
It showed an image of a taco
He ate the computer
The alarms went off
The police stormed in
“Sir, do you know where Henry is?” Asked the police
“I think I saw a guy in a cave” responded the fat person
Then they detected a random cave floating in space
A curled up kid was inside
“You are under arrest for making a post with a picture of a taco”
The fat person then realized he ate a computer
[“Whaaaaa” asked the clueless 3892753065084365023497580943658924365436590843659463985743986534625098436982 year old] (The stuff in brackets are all in one line, but more importantly, I BROUGHT THE 3892753065084365023497580943658924365436590843659463985743986534625098436982 BACK)
“Wait sir…” Said the guard
“What” asked the other guard
“He was the kid who wrote The Blog of All Blogs
the blog we worship” responded the guard
There was a stunned silence

TO BE CONTINUED

But remember, there is no downside to video games!

DERPUS
A very good friend
The Silly Sanctuary
Check his blog it’s good

That is all for today. But remember, there is no downside to video games!

Pop tarts on toast
Quite easy to roast
Just add some small fries
What rhymes with fries

I am the only one who likes it
It is rare to see it bit
How should I end this
I’ll end it with the word miss

That was a random poem. Remember, there is no downside to video games!

Don’t you think the fat person and the person isn’t really a poem anymore? Not to me!

PREVIOUSLY ON THE PERSON AND THE FAT PERSON

He noticed it was the end of the world
The fat person knew there would be no computers left on the planet
So he couldn’t peek at the link
He knew he failed his mission
But he remembered his current goal
He had to find the person

AND NOW

The rocket landed on mars
All the earth’s population got off the rocket
And they all went into this oxygen full base
The fat person saw a sign that read Mexico
Which he knew was not space prison
So he had to ask around
Eventually someone told him
It was at the end of the universe
So he had to somehow get there
The only way he knew how to
Is to get taken there
He had to commit a crime
So the fat person wobbled to the rule board
It said the number one rule
Is to be a lover towards The Blog of All Blogs
So he had to find a computer
He saw a skyscraper
Millions of people where running through the door
Someone was carrying a paper with a link
It was the same one that he found on his coffee table
His instincts told him to go inside
So he squeezed through the door
He saw billions of computers
So he got on one
He went to google and searched the link
It took him to The Blog of All Blogs
He knew that he succeeded his first mission
This was the link
He read the post: I NEED COMMENTS
So he commented a FIRE ROAST
He commented that Henry was dumb
Then the alarms sounded
The police crashed through the window
“Put your hands up!” They shouted
The fat person knew this was just part of the plan

TO BE CONTINUED

Remember, there is no downside to video games!

I need viewers
Who like to read
Because comments
Are what I need

I want them in that
Zone of thoughts
I really want them
I want lots

-Henry Cassar 2018

And all that is true, I desperately need comments. Even questions are acceptable. Here is an example comment.

But remember, there is no downside to video games!

I NEED NEW POEMS!

I need to find new styles
Ones that would last me a while
So I can get through this
My mind is a poem less abiss

I clearly can’t think
Poems kind of stink
Why am I still here
I need practice, for a year

As you can tell I have some work, but it’s improving right! If you find my kindergarten poems you will see that I improved very little. So that’s why I need new poetry ideas! I remember one but it is words in a picture so I won’t be able to get that on my blog. The problem I have right now though… if I can’t write poetry, then how can I do SUPER MEGA POETRY FRIDAY! (It is supposed to be called poetry friday but I like my way better) So I need to start writing it. It can’t be about me not knowing how to write poetry and it can’t be about fat people so I need to think fast.

Eureka! I will write a free verse poem about my mornings! I need to start writing it now so that is what will be next in this random blog post.

THE RANDOM FREE VERSE POEM

I wake up to the screaming of my alarm clock
But when I need it, it whispers
I put on my rock pants and go down for breakfast
“OMG it’s 13:99!” My mom yells
I know my bus comes at 25:83 so I am fine
I go up to brush my teeth
There is green mold stuck in one of my teeth
I try to scrape it out
“Honey! Its 25:82!” My mom yells up
I run downstairs
I put on my backpack and fly out the door
The bus rolls in as I run straight at it
I jump on
Then it goes
I am hit with a sigh of relief
I plop down on the boring gray chair
And go to school

I hope you enjoyed it! I worked so hard on it! But remember, there is no downside to video games!